Singapore Burp

I got  a massage from 

a blind man today.

He began with a  burp,

no "pardon me", 

"oh goodness I am sorry"

just a blatant belch.

They do that in China.

Singapore too it seems.

I jumped

in much the same way

my dog looks at her

own arse when she 

farts out loud then

caught myself, 

stifled a little giggle

and tried to stay 

conscious as he 

manipulated my muscles 

while my adams apple

was pressed to choking point

on the wrongly adjusted 

seat beneath me.

If I did pass out would

he notice?

death by massage, 

suppose it 

could be worse…

Eyes closed I tune into the 

hubbub filtering from the 

crowded food court opposite

where they suck on noodles

and pig organ soup.  

I go there daily for 

fresh cut fruit and drink

water from the coconut through a straw..

mango, papaya, dragon fruit and some

other fruit I don't know the name of

the ladies behind the counter  tell me 

its " ippopotamo" or some such

Im sure that cant be right,

sounds like a cockney hippo…  

En route to and from the fruit stall

bombarded by 

unrecognisable aromas 

I try not to breathe,

best not to look either.

A rhythmic slap and squeak

comes from the next chair

if I didn't know better I'd think

they were having sex

slap slap slap 

squeak squeak squeak

whispered "is that ok for you?"

certainly sounds ok

from where I'm choking

My folded legs fall into a coma

I need to stretch them but don't

want to trip my blind burpy friend

and turn the salon into a scene

from laurel and hardy  so 

concentrate on staying

conscious and hope I

can stand as tingling turns

to numbness

The time comes and is 

heralded by another burp.

Should I burp back?

Fart maybe…  stifled by own 

Britishness I simply thank him

and lumber off on licquorice legs

The lift arrives to take me 

to my room on the 26th floor, 

doors slide open and

I'm face to face 

with a dwarf.

I did not expect that.

Surreal in Singapore today…

Reviews

[Tree]

Ah, this was funny... enjoyed this poem. I read somewhere that China as well as some other Asian countries have the highest cases of GERD (Gastroesophageal reflux disease) than in any other part of the world. They say it's because of the large amounts of green tea they drink, apparently when consumed in large quantities and for long periods of time green tea can be pretty damn corrosive ... just saying, might help explain your masseur's issue;)

[April Child]

LOL well I did not know that, learned something new today :)

[Iris]

My chances of going to Singapore are 0% now. Thanks, April!

[SPINNING ON that dizzy ..]

I love it..... you took us right there with you..... excuse me.... haha Great words that really paint this walk-along-through picture.... can truly see the faces, hear the sounds and.....well, thankfully not smell but can imagine .... :)

[Leslie Philibert]

A fine poem, witty and well written,like the background too. Who couldn`t fail to like a poem about burbs and farts ? Great.

[Divinity Sleeps in This]

Your variety of comedy and originality goes a long way for me the reader.

[Jezebel]

just one of those days, huh? The description in this was very good, your way of putting words together is very impressive.

[bob, small b. aka invs]

i enjoyed the poem. great description of feelings, sights and sounds. doesn't make me want to put singapore on my bucket list, though.