Chapter 1

You’re walking down a path, though by its thinness and the tall buildings on either side it could be more of an alley. There’s cobblestones under your feet and you lurch forward with your next step as the tip of your shoe gets caught in a developed gap. Your arms flail and you hope the ground doesn’t hurt but you don’t fall, you are given your balance and continue walking smoothly. At the end of the path which may be an alley an old man has just stopped, well you think he is old by the cane he carries and the bent back under his cloak. You’ve almost reached the entrance onto the road where you can see people walking by and with one more step you’ll be there, you’ll be- Perhaps it is a bit soon but the narrator wants to make their entrance here. They were planning on doing so later, let the reader get into the story they thought, and them bam suddenly there’s some other than you. So the narrator is here and they have decided that you are walking on a path but in an alley. So you’ll be off the path and out of the alley and then you are, sliding past the old man who is fidgeting with something in his cloak and continuing your smooth pace on the still cobblestoned ground. As you get further away from the old man you hear him cough and wonder if he has found what he wanted in his cloak.

Thinking about that you check the small purse slung across your body. It’s the reason you’re walking along this road. You rarely come about this part of the city. You used to, all the time, you lived here, but now there’s no time. You used to talk with your friends about who would be the lucky one to find the hole in the holeless box. You didn’t find it, you pushed the sides until a hole had been broken just big enough to let you through. But not back. The hole wasn’t even big enough to look through, all it could do was let you climb through, nothing more. You were the lucky one and every day you count your graces. You know that any one of your friends would leave everything behind to go through that hole, that any pact, any promise would be forgotten as the light from the other side shines through. But now you’re here again, only to run an errand for the master of the house you now work in and then you’ll be gone.

Author's Note

This is a novel that I may work on. The first chapter's short because I want to see what people's thoughts are on the style of it (I don't know if it actually works well or not) and if people don't think its work then I won't continue. Please please any thoughts are really appreciated. (good chance the name will change if I continue with it also).

Reviews

[Meat of Dog]

The rare and elusive second person POV! I'm a bit traditional, I have a hard time with present tense though I'm starting to get used to it (It's pretty popular on WC right now). I had to read this twice to understand it, because of me, not you. I think it was written well. It's cheeky and interesting. I think you should keep going with it. I'm not sure how to give good advice though (I have literally never read anything in this POV before).