Chapter One

Chains of Life. An introduction of sorts

Chains of Life

Beginning

Chapter One

 

            Eoin Ganin stared at the ceiling, momentarily confused. He blinked back the sunlight streaming through the window, wondering where he was. He looked at the red walls, the pictures of his family oddly disconcerting. They wore manic grins and seemed to be leering at him.

What happened? he wondered. Why do I feel this way? Like something horrible is going to happen, has already happened?

He couldn’t figure it out. A creeping tingling wove its way up his spine and a flush came to his neck as he wondered if it was possible he was living outside of himself and this was a dream. He pinched himself. Hard.

Definitely reality, he thought, wincing from the pain. So why doesn’t anything feel right?

He looked as his wife sleeping peacefully beside him.

Of course. She gets a good night’s rest, he thought bitterly. Just the way it goes, isn’t it?

He pushed the gold covers out of his way, examining the deep red stitching of the pattern he couldn’t make out, and got out of bed. The cold wooden floor helped to wake him completely. He walked to the window, looking out at the brightness staring him in the face. The lawn stretched in front of him, a vivid green. The swing set was settled in the middle of the yard, the two swings moving with the breeze, slowly but steadily rocking back and forth.

I want it to rain, he thought bitterly, peering through the window panes. No, I want it to be a f*****g thunderstorm. I want this place to suffer and be as miserable as I feel.

He thought of his wife and the indiscretions she had committed throughout their marriage.

First it was the repairman, he thought. Then it was Michael’s kindergarten teacher. And finally it was one of my closest friends…Though he can go f**k himself at this point. She sure knew how to pick them.

He thought about the phone records he had seen when he was paying the phone bill. The bullshit she would try to feed him, as if he would be stupid enough to believe it.

Throwing me a surprise party my a*s, he thought. School meeting late on a Friday night? Over my dead body.

He wasn’t pleased with her, to say the least. Especially since she had just stopped seeing his friend Jake only a week ago.

What good is it to think about her nonsense? he asked himself. It was only going to open new wounds and an anger that he didn’t want to face…Couldn’t face, to be more exact.

What am I going to do about it? I don’t matter to her. Our son doesn’t matter to her. So what’s going to change her? What could possibly bring her and keep her home? It’s hopeless.

But Eoin wasn’t going to give up so easily. He couldn’t, knowing that his son was depending on him to make things right.

“You’ll fix it, won’t you, Daddy?” Richard had asked him. “Right?”

And how could he say no to that? After all, she had so easily managed to make their son think that his Daddy was the problem, after all. It couldn’t possibly be because of her extramarital affairs, now could it?

He glared hatefully at the clouds in the sky, as if they had any right to be there! He begged them to cover the sun, to hide his ugly, pure hate against his wife that the warmth of the sun exposed to the world.

Why is it that some people are able to shine, he wondered, while others stay in a constant misery, wondering what’s going to happen to them next?

He heard a stirring behind him and for a moment his heart stopped, thinking that the lovely Kasey Elizabeth, the supposed apple of his eye, was waking. He turned slowly, afraid of what he might find.

But instead of his wife, his son was standing in the doorway.

“Daddy?” he asked. “I need to start getting ready for school.”

“I know, kiddo,” Eoin replied. “Let’s get you started with that, huh? You’re a big boy. Go get dressed. I’ll have breakfast ready in a second.”

“Okay.” Richard turned and obediently returned to his room, where Eoin could hear him rustling through his drawers to find something to wear.

Poor kid, he thought to himself. He’s been good lately, though. Maybe he thinks it’ll bring Mommy and Daddy closer together. Unfortunately for him, the only thing that’s going to accomplish that is a shotgun.

He stopped himself.

What am I thinking? This is what that b***h does to me, brings out of me. Maybe if she would just keep her f*****g legs closed there wouldn’t be all this bullshit going on…

He shook his head to clear his thoughts and headed downstairs to the kitchen, the pinkness of it instantly disgusting him as usual. Of course the color had been Kasey’s idea. He spotted a box of cereal on top of the commercial-grade fridge Kasey had insisted upon and debated giving it to Richard for breakfast, but figured he should try to cook something for once. He opened the fridge and took out a carton of eggs.

Suddenly, he found himself flashing back to the day they first met, on an Easter that seemed centuries away now…

They met in the egg aisle of the grocery store. Eoin had been standing next to her and decided to strike up a conversation. She had responded favorably and mentioned that her nephew was coming over to dye eggs. Eoin was surprised at the coincidence, since he was going to see his nephew as well. When they realized their nephews were the same age, Eoin suggested that maybe they’d like to come over, since she said she was new to the area.

“That way Nick can have a friend for when he comes over,” Eoin said. “Liam is great. He loves meeting new people.”

She had agreed and sure enough, the kids hit it off…but so did Auntie Kasey and Uncle Eoin.

That feels like it was so long ago, he thought. I thought we were meant to be, forever, but apparently we were only supposed to last three years. Well, that lasted longer than Liam and Nick’s friendship. A speeding car shut that down after only two months. I guess they’ll have each other in the afterlife if it exists.

He snapped back into focus, realizing that he was still standing in front of the open fridge, the carton of eggs in hand. He thought he could hear Richard on the steps, so he quickly got out the pan and started scrambling a few eggs.

“Daddy? It’s not ready yet?” Richard asked.

“Not yet,” Eoin replied. “But it will be soon.”

Richard sat at the island, swinging his legs against the stool and tapping his fingers on the black granite countertop. His light brown hair was slightly ruffled and his clothes were slightly disheveled. His eyes traveled around the room, unable to settle on anything.

“You okay, bud?” Eoin asked.

“Yeah,” Richard replied. “Mommy isn’t up yet, is she?”

“Not yet.” Eoin did his best to keep his rage out of his voice, but Richard seemed to shrink a little, as if he could sense it.

“Will she wake up soon?” Richard asked. “I want to say goodbye to her before I have to leave for the bus.”

“Couldn’t tell you, kid.” Eoin turned his back to the island, choosing instead to focus on the pan in front of him.

“What if she doesn’t wake up?” Richard asked. “She’s been sleeping more and more lately.”

Then she doesn’t f*****g wake up and that’s one less s**t in the world, Eoin thought bitterly. But he managed to control himself and answer, “She’ll be up soon. Don’t worry about it. She had a late night, you know.”

“Where was she?” Richard asked.

“Who knows?” Eoin said. He scooped the eggs on a plain white plate and set it in front of Richard, but was unable to look him in the eye.

Suddenly, Richard jumped off the stool, knocking it to the floor. “You know!” he cried. “You know where Mommy’s been going late at night, don’t you?”

Eoin sighed and bent down to right the stool, checking the tiled floor for any cracks. “I really don’t know, Richard. You’d have to ask her that. Your guess is as good as mine, promise.”

Richard continued looking at him, doubt written all over his face. But he didn’t say anything else and returned to his seat, sullenly picking at the eggs.

“If you did know, you’d tell me, right?” he asked, looking up at his father with a quiet, desperate urgency. “Right?”

“Of course.” Eoin did his best to smile. “You know I don’t keep secrets from you.”

“No,” Richard muttered, “but Mommy does.”

When he had finished his eggs, Eoin walked Richard to the bus stop at the corner of the street and decided to wait with him for the bus.

They didn’t speak, just stood in silence, each lost in their own thoughts, until the bus pulled up. Richard turned and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek and then ran up the bus steps. Eoin waved goodbye, his mind lost on the fact that Kasey should have been here, too.

Author's Note

Barely edited.

Reviews

[J Todd Underhill]

Iam at a loss for what to say about this chapter, other than it was looking into me and my thought process when my illness is wreaking havoc on my mind... Bravo!