Gone, but Still Here

Gone, but Still Here

A Poem by ArtistryofWords
"

Yeah... I hope you like it.

"

Her skirt billowing in

The sweet Autumn wind

Her tawny hair

Surrounding her sweet,

Round face

She walks off

Fading into the mist

Her petite feet

Leave no mark

Despite the mud

Trying to keep her near

She disappears

Wandering toward

True light

Uncontained

Unbothered

Pure

And the wind whispers

Farewell songs

And the birds sing

Songs of hope

The mist coils around

Vowing to protect her

She’s a free spirit

She’s light

She’s hope

She’s gone

But still here

© 2010 ArtistryofWords


Author's Note

ArtistryofWords
I know, my poems tend to be written in odd format. I can change it if it's bothersome.

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Reviews

Spectacularly descriptive and creative. I actually like your format; it’s different and complements your word choice and flow. However, I would suggest adding periods, especially since you have a comma or two. But I enjoyed the overall theme to the poem.
Good write, keep it up.
God bless : )


Posted 13 Years Ago


I find your formatting engaging and clear and precise~ short bursts of expression easily grasped and more poignantly affective for the brevity~ here you draw an image that is fluid and fleshed out beautifully~ one can see her and hear her footsteps~ feel her light air of being~

Posted 13 Years Ago


There is nothing bothersome about this poem. I love the flow and imagery. Great talent and I can only see it growing ! Great work.

Posted 13 Years Ago


I don't find this form "bothersome" in the least... it actually works. This piece has an excellent flow. The imagery is vivid and beautiful...

"The mist coils around
Vowing to protect her" - fantastic line.

The ending is perfect : we may feel like hope is gone, but there is always hope even if it's just a spark...it's still there.

You definitely brought these words together and made them into the most beautiful work of art.

Magnificent work :)



Posted 13 Years Ago



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Added on July 26, 2010
Last Updated on July 26, 2010

Author

ArtistryofWords
ArtistryofWords

Phoenix, MD



About
I am 11 years old, but writing is my passion. It's my form of art. When you live in a small town on the outskirts of Baltimore in a crowded house, sometimes you just need to escape, which is how I sta.. more..

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