Hello, Hello

 

 Hello, hello;

I Know your there

watching me, ignoring me

are you that scared to say

what you really feel.

 

Hello, hello;

I can't wait forever

i know you sit their

in silence, I can feel

you there. just say

what is on your mind

 

Hello, hello;

You can't just hide forever

come out and show me

who you really are

don't be scared to tell me

 

Hello, hello;

Are you really there?

 

Goodbye, goodbye;

I guess you really don't care.

 

Reviews

[Maria]

i like the repetition of hello, hello, and i really like the ending! the goodbye, goodbye and the second last stanza goes so well!

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the pestering and then the giving up. Sometime better to leave someone alone and move on. like the flow of thoughts and the very good ending. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[Kaela]

Well-planned and well-constructed. It remind's me of the song Hello, Hello... I think It's by Boxcar Racer.

[Watch Me Scream]

As said before, this is very simple and elegant, it was a very simple read, yet it was still emotional and impactful though. I actually really liked this: it told a story in very few words. A very simple emotion here, and it works for you.

[Harishvarmaa]

nicely constructed:) simple & elegant...

[Shay]

I like that you start each line in the stanzas except for the last one with hello, hello. And putting goodbye, goodbye as the first line in the last stanza was a nice kick..

[Annabelle Lee]

interesting

[Amanda]

Love it! Keep writing! :D

[Λsylum Ƣo&#..]

this sounds all to familiar - have been there many a time. a very poignant and well thought out write. marvelous!

[Skye]

:) I liked this, original and very well written. I like the ending, even if it is a tad sad.

[darkness*star1985]

thank you sweetie