Old Acquaintances

The begining of chapter one.

 

Chapter One
Old Acquaintances

The people I used to know, I know no more.  Time changed things.  For better or worse, I cannot say.  The dance we have danced to get us where we are now is one unique to all else, and danced only by you.  My dance lead me here.  My own song will still haunt me in the dark, lonely nights.   I long to stand in the rain and have my thoughts fall with it.  My thoughts of him.  It still pains me to think about it, even after all these years.  

I have changed since we last met.  And now that I stand here, staring into his eyes, I can see that he has changed as well.  I stand in disbelief that I am even here in his presence.  All of my emotions; the joys we once shared, the love we once felt, and the pain and the suffering when he left.  They washed over me like the ocean tide on that foggy afternoon.  

The first raindrop that fell, a tear fell with it.  The sky was grey and crying.   It was just the two of us amongst a hundred people.  The downpour began to obscure our vision from each other and I whispered his name.  There was no way that he could have heard me, but he came to me nonetheless.  His footsteps rang in my ears as he came closer.  I couldn’t move.  Then his arms were around me and I was crying into his shoulder.  It all came back.  

Five years ago….Had it been five years?  It must have.  The summer before the war began was that last time I saw him.  He disappeared after that.   I wanted to look for him; forever did I want to look for him.  But I was being taken away on my own.  I had no choice.  Far I went, never really knowing quite where I was headed, or even when it was that I arrived.  But I remember the rain.  And I remember the ocean.

Now here was the rain, but the ocean was far off within my mind.  It’s iridescent glow still haunting my melody.  But that place was miles and miles away.  I escaped from it; escaped from its call.  I traveled a long way, and now here I stand, crying in his arms.  I never thought I would be here ever in my life again.  I never thought I would escape, I never thought I would see him.  

But I knew that something had changed.  There was no way that he could still feel the same as we once did.  Five years had passed and through that came turmoil and trial.  The war became worse.  I knew in my heart that he had been called to battle with the rest.  I never imagined he would survive.  I could only hope.  

When I raised my head there was a look in his eyes.  They weren’t the same colour they used to be.  Deep grey with cut ice lines were their shade now.  Haunted.  Their brilliance had faded since last we met.  Since we were taken away from each other.  I noticed when he moved to put his hands on my shoulders that he had a new grace to him.  He moved silently, and with a muscular elegance.  His face was gaunt and his mouth held a frown in place of that infectious smile.

“Valerie…” his quiet voice trailed.  “Is it really you?  Could it really be you?  Where have you been, I thought you were dead.  We all thought you were dead.”  The look on his face softened and became etched with concern.  Whoever he had become faded at least temporarily.

Author's Note

Any critism would be great.

Reviews

[Bran the Broken]

Not much to go on, so far. Good use of the rain- and ocean-images.Very little dialogue, can't criticize or praise. But the story-telling element...well, it seems a bit dramatic so far, and wordy, in a breathy sort of way. Like a person who's harping a little too much on something. The delivery style could be simplified, and made more effective and direct. As far as story, nothing to criticize, cuz not much has been told. The little so far, is good enough as a beginning. But the delivery of it doesn't really capture me. Maybe it's just me.