Silence

si-lence/ noun/ 1. complete absence of sound.

"Tyler..."

I woke up to a faint whisper, sending instant chills up my spine.  My eyes still heavy from exhaustion, I turned back over not caring what the noise had been. Nearly an hour passed until I heard the voice once more, this time much louder.

"Tyler, Wake up.."

I turned over screaming to find another person in bed with me. My screams were instantly silence by the figure placing their hand over my mouth. My eyes soon adjusted to the dark where I then noticed it had been Emma. Any normal teenage kid would be like, "Awe s**t! P***y in my bed!". Yeah, no, not me. I'm a little concerned on WHY exactly she's in here and HOW exactly she got in here.

"Emma, what the f**k are you doing here?

"I just couldn't sleep... Sleep would be nice for once."

"Is something wrong?"

"Everything is."

"Explain?"

"I feel so numb, you know? Broken, torn, like my life is simply repeating itself and I'm forced to sit back and watch. But, something finally has changed to let me know that it might be alright, and that's you. "

"Emma... If you ever need anything, I'm here, alright?"

"Alright.."

She cuddled up to me, leaving me still and a bit uncomfortable. Silence soon engulfed the room, leaving me alone with my own thoughts. Even with all the fear in the world around me; homicidal maniacs, robberies gone wrong, rape, natural disasters; my own mind still seemed to scare me more.

I always seemed to have the worst thoughts during the night. Most people slept, I just couldn't most of the time. I wasn't even sure whether it was the insomnia or just the anxiety at this point.  It could also just be the constant voices in my head. They have been there for as long as I can remember;  the constant reminder that I would never be good enough for anyone or anything. 

Even as a child, my parents were never there; always leaving me by myself even as young as three. Over the years, I've gotten use to the silence; the constant feeling of being completely, entirely alone, all by myself in a cold, cruel world. 

I shook the thoughts away, feeling my eyes begin to grow heavy. I drifted off soon, into a deep, blissful sleep, which I really needed. 

........................................................................................................

I had woken hours later , 6am to be exact, to find that Emma had already vanished with my color-stained window wide open. I got up, a bit chilly, to tightly shut the once closed window. I looked out, amazed by how she had gotten in and out.

"That's a three story jump..."

I closed the window shut, making sure to lock it up tight. I slipped on a black t-shirt, and quietly made my way downstairs to fetch a large cup of coffee to fully wake me up. I decided to settle with a vanilla cappuccino ; 2 teaspoons of cream, 2 cubes of sugar, and just a hint of milk, just how I enjoyed it. I sat myself down at the maple dining room table, still quite groggy from sleep. I sipped from my coffee and thought to myself. Emma had sure been quite the character, who would of known I would of met such an interesting person in a desolate, lonely waste land. 

My head popped up, startled by a noise at the front door. It sounded as if someone were jiggling the doorknob, trying to get in. I placed down my mug half full of coffee, opening the small drawer to my right and grabbing the biggest knife I could find. I gently tip-toed toward the door, my heart pounding in my chest. Now three feet away from it, I stood still. Seconds later the doorknob jiggled once more. My heart began to pound even faster, sweat pouring down my face. In just a few short moments, the door swung open causing me to dive backwards onto the floor with fright. 

"Tyler, why are you holding that knife?"

"Mom? Dad? What the f**k are you guys doing home this late? Where the f**k have you been?!"

"Watch your mouth! We were just out in town and picking up a few things for the house."

"It took that long?"

"It's almost a four hour drive to town."

"Yeah, whatever..."

I walked away, used to their bullshit lies. I had been way too familiar with them. It no longer bothered me. I made my way back up to my room, tightly closing the door behind me. Why did I even bother with them?

I let out a long sigh, choosing to resume what I had started the other day. I had picked up the small box I had left off with, excited to find some photographs and papers instead of junk.

I pulled the first photograph from the box, finding a black and white family portrait. There had been a middle aged man with a short beard, a beautiful younger woman dressed in the finest of clothing, a baby girl in her arms, and a toddler aged boy by the mothers side. I turned the picture over to find a date, "June 22, 1886". I placed the picture down, moments later a dust covered journal fell to the ground by my feet. I bent down to pick it up, instantly opening to the first page:

                                                   August 10, 1900

Dearest diary,

Father has returned home to us on this day. He does not seem to be the same man, in nature, that he once was before he had left on business. His drinking problem has been most difficult to handle, and his anger has become absurd. Mother says he is simply stressed and tired and that Daniel and I should leave him alone. Daniel however, has been interrogating him, accusing  him of the devil's deeds. I believe my father is a pure man with pure intentions. I do hope he returns to his normal self soon. With mother expecting a mother child, this stress has been affecting her the most. I am truly scared for the worst. 

                                             Yours truly, 

                                       Emma Marie Anderson