Overlord

Serving Cosmosys' fourth exhibit "Colony":

My new family, huddled and cold;
dodging raindrops, taking torpedoes.
And I know we won't all make it home.
I know we won't all make it home again.

I miss my mama and the father I had;
rusted Chevy and the barnyard out back.
And I know we won't all make it home.
I know we won't all make it home again.

I feel the pictures close to my breast
soaking blood from the two in my chest.
And I know that I won't make it home.
I know that I'll never see home again.

I miss my Sammy and the gold in her hair;
the way she'd laugh without any cares.
And I know that I won't make it home.
I know that I'll never see home again.

What are You saying,
is this all that I get:
dead on a beach,
cold and covered in s**t?
No, I don't want to go to Your Home.
I just want to go back home again.

Reviews

[Matthew Smith]

This was excellent. Depressing, too. Despite the obvious, uh, death reference, I can understand the homesick feeling quite well.

You might want to de-capitalize "You", "Your", and "Home". There's no need for those to be capitalized, but those are the only technicals I noticed in my read-through.

Great write.

whoa this is deep and powerful, such strong emotions. You have a wonderful flow and rhyme scheme going as well. (Powerful write)