Character in Novel Speaks Out

finally, he gets his say

As a character in this novel, I have no right to speak out, to comment, or talk about the book.

I wouldn't ask to be paid extra, I assure you. I wouldn't waste my breath.

This author couldn’t even make me a tuna fish sandwich.

Maybe he could give me some better lines or describe me as better looking. Sure, there are other things this negligent and incompetent author could do as well. Sorry if I seem to whine. Forgive me. I have been silent too long.

What else can you ask for in a character in a novel? I did what I could. I did my best. He didn’t pay me.

Now, he’s flogging me, as he does his books, in an effort to excuse his inexcusable mistakes.

Here’s what he wants me to say: The formatting wasn’t his fault. The mistakes? The Internet did that.

He wants to say he is sorry, but he couldn’t, since it’s supposed to be fiction. So, I'm getting some extra lines here"a few more words. I won't even get overtime. Please, ask him to pay me, or pay him, $15 an hour. Maybe it will trickle down. I doubt it, though. That never seems to happen. Blah, blah, blah. Whine, whine whine.

 

 

  

 

Author's Note

be real