Liberation

A path through life that only brings true personal freedom in the end.

A tear drop falls but no one sees The sadness that grows As she grieves. The sun is gone, the night is here, She hides alone With only fear. Not the darkness of the night, The impending doom Just within her sight. She's so tired of all of this Wants it to go, Wants only bliss. Death seems a good choice, To get away To find her voice. There's nothing anymore, No open windows, No unlocked Doors To find an escape From this life she lives This barren landscape That has held her here Tied her down The darkness so near. She stops short She's found it, Her one simple retort; I live my life as my own.

Author's Note

My computer for some reason in the edit section shows the poem in 3 line stanzas but when you view it outside the edit it's in paragraph form so every 3 lines is a different stanza.

Reviews

[Dani California]

I really like this!
The journey from dispair to self acceptance and hope
is wonderful! It seems I've read a lot of work recently
that points in the direction of suicide at some point,
or in wishing for death, which is really disturbing and
concerns me on a very deep level..

I'm glad your poem took a positive twist! Awesome.

[Antonio Valentino]

I agree, how else can we truly be happy if its not our own?

This was great Brette!
Your poems are just layerd with emotion and understanding.

Very well done!
Antonio

[Tony]

It is amazing how at times we just want to run away from ourselves, we lose hope and cannot find the light at the end of the tunnel, we woud like to just close our eyes and have it end, but there is always something deep in our souls, telling us to have faith, that things will change and we laugh and see how very silly it all is and that is when we discover our own liberation, we are all free to choose what path we travel down. I think you accomplished the job of making the reader have to think. Great piece of writing.

Tony

[Michael X]

Brette, this is an excellent poem written as spoken thought, the form justifies
the meaning with intent nicely, a true reflective insight expressed
with passionate sentiment from the depths of the heart, draws the reader to
ponder the meaning of freedom, in an emotional sense, beautifully done.

[Donald Meikle]

In as few words as possible........ individual is singularly alone ........ Not lonely. Simply oneself.
Jill's review says it better than I can (nothing new there!)

[Tomás Ó C..]

Ok, are you using the Firefox browser? This site works better in IE7

[TamiViolet]

Profound work of self discovery, Brette. Imagery is stunning as I saw the tears, experienced the sadness,
felt the longing and despair. We all yearn for escape from time to time, when life appears to be a
barren landscape and the windows and doors seem bolted, but something usually occurs to light
the way to our own personal freedom. The conclusion is perfect and spot on...

to live our life as our own...

[Bennett Logan]

I like the tone of this piece. It's confident yet somber and I thought that maybe the narrator was after a vengeance of sorts. Maybe I'm totally off.

Otherwise, I thought this poem was a bit telling. Especially in a piece this length, I want to physically see/sense the poet's thoughts or ideas. What you have here tells the reader about them. I, personally, would be very interested in physically seeing such sadness as expressed in this poem. I also thought the switch from third to first person at the very end was kind of awkward, and I would definately suggest changing the entire piece to one or the other.

Your ideas, however, are passionate and strong and I want to read more. :)

Anyway, keep up the good work. I'll definately keep reading.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Powerful expression of how we can hold ourselves down by personal choices or deep fears... the end is inspirational in showing we can overcome it with inner strength... beautifully done.

[Dezaraye]

Beautiful piece. You really express Liberation perfectly. The title is perfect for it.

Even though the format didn't hold, it really has a perfect flow and kept me reading through your stanzas. You always write pieces that leave me thinking and I love that about your work. Your last line is the perfect ending. "I live my life as my own." A lesson that we all really need to learn and understand. Our lives are our own ... and only we can change them.

[An owl on the moon]

A magnificent piece, profoundly moving and vivid! We can feel the pressures of the world upon us, and find escape by creating a world of our own (in some respects). Incredible!