Confusion

Edited by Annalisa....eye surgery

 

Confusion

 

The morning of the day,

I await for something to cuddle me.

As I lay motionless in the solitude of my own room

I could not help feeling so alone.

Screaming and ringing sounded in the distance

Amplifying as my door opened

 

A milky cloud distorts my views

As they asked me the questions

--Of a personal nature

I felt the sledging,

pulverize my mind

choking my words in my throat

while trying aimlessly to utter a whisper

 

As the cool vital waters drip

Through the branches that finger my existence

My heart calmed to a gentle beat.

 

As the thoughts that once raced

Along the tracks of that vast highway

Broke the boundary and escaped

 

 

So many people around me

The confusion grappled my reality

As I ponder misery

What did I do wrong?

 

Can a single blade of grass

Conceal the lawn

Without the soil to affix its roots

 

Can a drop of pure water

Bathe an ocean and turn it blue

Without the aid of a twinkle in the sky

 

Can a single grain of sand

Fill a beach so that others

Can bask in the fruits of comfort

 

Can a single ray of sun light

Warm your soul

Without the radiance of something to hold

  

The answer is no

But without them

There is no tomorrow.

Suddenly, I can see

Perfectly clear

Reviews

[Michael X]

now thats one grand metaphorically enhanced work of heart to ponder, excellent choice of wording
ralphy, the analogies are written to height and draw the reader to dwell in the context, many favorite lines that express an over all timeless wisdom, like
"Can a single grain of sand
Fill a beach so that others
Can bask in the fruits of comfort"
such sentiments take hold of one's thoughts, to search for answers, and yet one seems to answer them all,
and that being found in the last stanza, its touching in the way the expression shows the reader new
perspectives, leaves a feeling of an added sense of knowledge, the meaning, what brings clarity into light,
as in self awareness, descriptively enhanced, an excellent read to edify the soul and mind.

Good form, good choice of words, the poem flows well, and has a wonderful closing.

The whole imagery was well painted.

With regards to the message...

It was great.


I liked how you were able to draw enlightenment in the process of the poem, from the blurry vision in the start, to a crystal clear sight after. The process was seen in the middle.

This is a wonderful piece.

PS. I will be in China from tomorrow until 1st of May, you will not be getting a message until after.

[Dark Daughters]

What a great poem, so full of metaphors great job!

[Carole]

An astounding write, and as Michael said, the metaphors are lovely.

As the cool vital waters drip
Through the branches that finger my existence

As the thoughts that once raced
Along the tracks of that vast highway
Broke the boundary and escaped

I love all of the questions at the end. It reminds me of the book of Job in the Bible when God was questioning Job so eloquently.

Beautiful-Beautiful-Beautiful!!!

2nd line....is cuddled to be cuddle? That was the ONLY thing that threw me off in this pristine piece of excellence! Very nicely done, Ralph!

[Clouded in Hopeful Illu..]

There are so many messages that I have seen in this beautiful piece of work. To mention them all, would be picking at the very depths of my soul and my mind. I was in the hospital not to long ago, so in a subtle way, some things were extremly familiar. I recognized them right off of the bat. Others, well, I don't even have to think about them as I read them because they make perfect sense. But they give me something to ponder even after I am done with it and far away in my own world. Your words linger in my head like a song on repeat. This one is amazing.

[youngwriter222]

I like this! How ou say lines like this....
"Can a single ray of sun light
Warm your soul
Without the radiance of something to hold"

And the last stanza eally brings the poem to a great finish manking people think. You brought good imagery in the poem.
This was a really great read-just like all of you other work.

Thanks fo sending it to me