Poems that made you laugh!

The rich! I love them. Trust them to suppose
the gift of tennis is deep in their bones.

Those chaps from the coast with all their own gear
from electric eyes to the umpire’s chair,

like him whose **** I whipped with five choice strokes
perfected on West Yorkshire’s threadbare courts:

a big first serve that strained his alloy frame,
a straight return that went back like a train,

a lob that left him gawping like a fish,
a backhand pass that kicked and drew a wisp

of chalk, a smash like a rubber bullet
and a bruise to go with it. Three straight sets.

Smarting in the locker rooms he offered
double or quits; he was a born golfer

and round the links he’d wipe the floor with me.
I played the ignoramus to a tee:

the pleb in the gag who asked the viscount
what those eggcup-like things were all about �"

‘They’re to rest my balls on when I’m driving.’
‘Blimey, guv, Rolls-Royce think of everything’ �"

but at the fifth when I hadn’t faltered
he lost his rag and threw down the gauntlet;

we’d settle this like men: with the gloves on.
I said, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. OK, come on then.

--------------------------------------…

An Attempt At Unrhymed Verse by Wendy Cope

People tell you all the time,
Poems do not have to rhyme.
It's often better if they don't
And I'm determined this one won't.

Oh dear.

Never mind, I'll start again.
Busy, busy with my pen...cil.
I can do it if I try--
Easy, peasy, pudding and gherkins.

Writing verse is so much fun,
Cheering as the summer weather,
Makes you feel alert and bright,
'Specially when you get it more or
less the way you want it.

--------------------------------------…

Gust Becos I Cud Not Spel by Brian Patten

Gust becos I cud not spel
It did not mean I was daft
When the boys in school red my riting
Some of them laffed

But now I am the dictater
They have to rite like me
Utherwise they cannot pas
Ther GCSE

Some of the girls were ok
But those who laffed a lot
Have al bean rownded up
And hav recintly bean shot

The teecher who corrected my speling
As not been shot at al
But four the last fifteen howers
As bean standing up against a wal

He has to stand ther until he can spel
Figgymisgrugifooniyn the rite way
I think he will stand ther for ever
I just inventid it today

Reviews

[Tony Z Sienzant]

That first poem is really REALLY great ! It should be in the New Yorker. I love the line about the teacup/balls & how Rolls Royce think of everything, ha ! It firmly encapsulates the competitive spirit of man, as well as, more significantly, the attitudes of the classes which I understand are more 'solidified' in England (I'm an American). And I love the roundabout at the end, all those "no's" until the narrator quickly reconsiders. It read so well I didn't even realized it rhymed until midway through. (Why this showed up under browsing in "comicbooks/graphic novels" I don't know but I'm glad I found it.) The poem also ominously hints at the real conflict that may come in the next few generations as the gap between the rich & poor widen even more.

Wait, that LAST poem is simply hilarious !!! You are really onto something! I want to see more...

[Dalia]

well written poems
I really enjoyed them
keep writing

[Bantiles]

Glad you enjoyed it and like it...!
Thank you very much..!

[Dalia]

your welcome