A SHROUD OF THOUGHTS

fingers crossed..

Can't get you out of my mind
Can't make myself free..
What should I suppose to do
because you're my leaves and I'm a tree....

I can't live without you
Can't imagine that even for a second,
Not frightened even of death
But yes between us you'll be second....

I even feel disheartened
and lonely in a large crowd
Though everyone is making me feel special
Yet my condition won't make me proud.....

Silent is me,silence is everywhere
With inner thoughts fiercing so loud
Death is only the thing felt amiable
Dreaming to cover myself  with a shroud....

Reviews

[Saumya]

very good poem..!!!!
well done...!!!

[Basu Gupta]

thankew..

[Krista Weiss]

Great poem! :)

[Basu Gupta]

thanx Krista

[Blissful Sin]

Im not really a fan of romance, but this poem helped me open up to it a little more. :D well done!

[Basu Gupta]

thanks a lot.....

[Carnation]

It's a nice poem. Not my preferred type but it is still great. I prefer dark poems so its ok, I didn't mean it like a harsh way. Has some what of a beat box sound to it when you read it aloud.

[blueholmes]

it was like i was doing rap while reading :)) haha. this one's great though :) there's the feelings and the passion yet some vague. but i guess it's the author who solely understand his works :) keep those pens bleeding!! :)

[Basu Gupta]

thanq.....

[Trigorin]

Not bad. This is well-written, I suppose, but I don't particularly like the tone of the piece - it comes off as a little too cloying and clinging, which isn't exactly the most attractive thing ever. Don't get me wrong, this is well-put-together, but it's not really my cup of tea.

[Basu Gupta]

okay...i'll try to improve...
btw thanks

[Rita L. Sev]

A deep and affecting poem - I like the 'tree to leaves" metaphor. Great write!

[Basu Gupta]

thank you Rita..

[CookieDough]

Loveeee this one!

[Basu Gupta]

itoo love tis......
btw thanksssssssss

[kublakhan27]

A compelling write...strong words and sentiments...nicely done.

[Basu Gupta]

thanks a lottttttttttt.....

[Phoenix]

Keep writing

[Basu Gupta]

thanksssssssssssssssss