Betty

Hey guys, this is my newest work. I wrote for a friend of mind and I thought it was sweet; because of that, I thought it might brighten someone else's day, too! I hope you all like it! Reviews welcome

Golden hair like fields of grain
Sweeter than a candy cane
Smiles brighter than the sun
Funnier than cheesy puns
Eyes are bluer than the sea
Wiser than an old yew tree
A contagious attitude
Always full of gratitude
Though I do not see you much
On to you I always clutch
I will always love you true
I thank God he gave me you

Reviews

[Nailah Baniti]

Peace, i enjoyed these words. It very pretty/heARTful write :)

[Dalton Wagoner]

Thanks, I'm glad to hear from you again. :-)

[Nailah Baniti]

Keep writing from the heart and you'll find me here often :)

[Dalton Wagoner]

That's what a poet it does, isn't it?

"Poetry is the language of the soul."
-Anonymous

[Bear]

Just a suggestion, on the forth line if you want to make it a true rhyme like the rest of your poem, you just need to (Funnier than a cheesy pun). I like it, its cutesy in a fun way that if the friend you wrote it for is female, should get you a hug at the very least :~)

[Dalton Wagoner]

Thanks, Bear! I wanted to write it exactly as you recommended it, however, this poem is written on Iambic Pentameter. Therefore, if I do that, it would throw of the balance of the whole poem.

[Bear]

Iambic technique, 5 feet of iambs (Sweeter than a candy cane)(Funnier than a cheesy pun) :~)

[Stan Lee]

An ode to a friend! I love it! It is such a happy piece. I'm sure Betty would have loved it too! The rhyming was fantastic and it flowed well... until the last line I had to re-read it a few times. Maybe it would be easier to say "I thank God that he gave you"... just a suggestion. Feel free to ignore! :) Thanks for sharing Dalton. Keep smiling. :)

[Dalton Wagoner]

Thanks Andronicus! I really appreciate the feedback!

[Dalton Wagoner]

I meant to put "me" in there, but I must have forgot. Silly me!

[Stan Lee]

Oh. lol. That makes a lot more sense now! :)