A Deadly Love

I was inspired by Otep's recent music video "Crooked Spoons" about the world's love for violence. Hopefully, thats what I accomplished in this piece without seeing the video.

The symptoms are visible,

Being overwhelmed

As the world bleeds of heartache

Drowning in the never-ending violence.

 

We are trapped in submission,

Those that have a strong belief

But little hope within ourselves,

That love will heal all the pain.

 

It ugliness,

Sanitized in the bloody pool of excuses

Never wanting to face the facts of truth

There is a problem within society’s walls.

 

We give our hearts to one another

Vulnerable, wearing them on our sleeves

Never knowing what’s right around the corner

A dark world, with no way out.

 

Trapped with some little hope

To survive in the torturous turmoil

To blind to see that love is not real,

And it’s surely fading.

 

Mothers cry in the lonely nights

As a war goes on in a distant land.

Dead or alive,

Is freedom really worth the risk?

 

Succumbing to a mouthful

Of poisonous lies, a government feeds

Either submits to the lies

Or be labeled a traitor.

 

Too many expectations

Too many drowned in the greed

I wonder if love can survive,

Or will it become deadly?

 

Author's Note

I was inspired by Otep's recent music video "Crooked Spoons" about the world's love for violence. Hopefully, thats what I accomplished in this piece without the video. I think I may have screwed this up after the 5th stanza. So any suggestions or corrections welcome. =)

Reviews

[Valentine]

A very good write..I know right now this is the worse I have ever seen our nation..It is not pleasant to think of those younger than I and the generation after thatr..What will be left of freedom or America when they are grown....if war hasn't destroyed them too..Life is sad all over..not just at the gas pump..God bless...valentine

[Wildecat]

It is amazing what inspires one to write the way we do, nice write.

[Jessica Fox]

Gotta love how music and videos can inspire poems or stories, I wouldn't count out video games too they can inspire. Another wonderful piece you rock!

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This is really beautiful! and it very well captures all the violence and chaos going all around the world..
Brilliant choice of subject!
Very heartfelt and great attempt! I highly appreciate your work :)

[*~Imperfectly Me~*]

This is a good poem, it had some good points and such.... It invoked some great emotions and such.... Great Job!

[Jenny Davis]

I'm optimistic in thinking that love can survive because of people like you and me who care about what's going on in this world...I truly loved this and would love it if you would read it on the air tomorrow on Vent Radio :)

this is very well written and i wouldnt make any changes to it. i love it and it has this solitary sounding melody to my ears as i read it. it captures the me and embraces me in it and doesnt let go until the poem is finished. it left me speechless and once my thoughts came back to their regular speed, it made me think of so many things surrounding us that i dont usually see. that i somehow chose not to see.

this is beautiful and your writing gets better and better by the minute. your thoughts flow so gently and they way you set your words on paper(computer page/whatever) makes your poetry, as for all your writtings, very pleasant to read!

no suggestions and no corrections; this is a perfect piece of work!

[Robert Luna]

Once again sorry for my lateness.

This makes me think of a piece I am currently work on with Jenny Davis. We must be willing to do move forward as a group let our words speak. No longer lay silent and let the government and world as a whole do what ever the f**k they want to. This country was founded on a belief that the government should always fear the people not the people fearing the government. These people are suppose to be our elected officials but they are nothing more than corporate yes men. Allow the rich to become richer and the poor well let just say they do what they wish. I am proud that you wrote this and I am proud that I know you.

Damn Good Job!!!!!

[Gema]

I really like it the description!
Had alot of messages and very emotional!!
Reminds me of Atonement!
Brillantly written!

[An owl on the moon]

Brilliant depth played to a tune we don't like to listen to but must! The time has come for people to seek peace. You so vividly paint the picture of our world today!

[The Tao of Bri]

TOO TRUE AND Unfortunately timely in all ways! Great one!