Missing Him

RIP Grandpa "Papi" You'll live on in our hearts forever...

As we walked up to the coffin,

I took a deep breath..

Would he look different?

It was silent in the church,

Except for the piano playing,

But that was just background noise.
I did my best to hold myself together,

Trying hard not to think about what I saw in front of me.

But looking down on him brought me over the edge.

The tears I’d held inside for so long couldn’t stay in anymore.

He looked peaceful,

Almost happy.

I knew he was in a better place,

But the pain wouldn’t go away,

And no matter how hard I’d tried

I couldn’t stop missing him. 

Author's Note

I've been wanting to write something about this for a while, but couldn't. I finally got something down, but...eh...i don't know if I like it. Please review?? Tell me what you think plz!! Thankies!!(:

Reviews

[Caitlynxoxo]

The pain the person was feeling was quite obvious and as well, you protrayed it in words beautifully. I have only ever been to one funeral in my life; my grandmas. As I read this I recalled every feeling, every thought I had while looking at her, lying there in a coffin. It was very relateable. Thanks for sharing :)

xoxo Caitlyn xoxo

[Aria]

this reads more like a journal entry than a poem, but then again all poems are journal entries aren't they? this was simple and direct and sometimes that's all a poem needs to be. your emotion was expressed and that's all i care about as a writer and a reader. good work.
however, if you're looking for a way to work it a ilttle better, i would suggest to play off of the piano line; maybe bring an imagery to the notes reaching your ears as noise. or the smell of the church. things like that, organic things that could make the piece become more textured.

[Short.Nerd]

Wonderful job!

[deeps]

such powerful emotion here. Sad and over all touching.
This tugs on the heart strings. Well written.....

[Liz-z]

awwww!

[Escape My Fate]

Great display of emotion. Love it.

[r]

Aww!! *hugs* I want to cry now!! The emotion in this is SO strong! And written wonderfully. :( As far as I know, I've never been to a funeral...'cept maybe when i was too young to remember. I do understand this somewhat...as much as i can, anyway. I'm sorry for your loss. (: But beautiful, sad, sorrowed, tear-jerking poem.

[Calypso]

Wow. I want to cry now. I could just feel the pain of this person at the funeral. This poem is haunting, but blunt. Grief can kill you. I would like to see another poem explaining what happened before and after.

[~Lizzy♬]

Wow! such emotion into this poem. loved it a lot. :)