SERPENTS

hiss hiss...

SERPENTS

1. Where he went…

2. XOXO

3. When they took you

4. Man to man

5. Deletion/United

6. Expectations

7. XX❤

8. Secret romance/Honeymoon

9. Say you love me/Black Nikes

10. Loving you in the dark

11. Goodbye (With: Lexie Kelly)

12. OMG, I’m a liar

13. Honey

14. Happens again

15. History

Where he went…

When everyone seemed hell bent,

Here’s where he went…

 

He wanted to be able to smile again,

In this maze of life,

Where even friends would drive you insane,

He needed to remember what it was like,

To love yourself,

Even in the darkest night,

 

All he could hear was,

“You’re not as funny as them”,

“There’s cooler people”,

“You’re not good enough”,

And in that, he needed to pause,

 

He wanted to remind himself that tears dry,

That friends come and go,

So you need to be your own ally,

He needed to look for his old self,

In the deepest and darkest,

And loneliest corners of himself,

 

He wanted to forget all the friendships,

The one’s whose numbers you don’t remember,

So he went into the darkest eclipse,

He needed to see for himself,

Who cared when he disappeared,

And it turns out, the only one there was his old self,

 

He felt his loneliness augment, And he felt his life descent,

Because he didn’t feel good enough, His shell needed to be built tough,

That’s where he went…

XOXO

Beach walks, love talks,

You didn’t like it when I wore jeans,

Honey, we were just a pair of teens,

The thrown away kisses,

All the times we had near misses,

 

Oh no no no,

Idk why I loved you like that,

Oh no no no,

I typed XOXO,

Then I waited and I sat,

And you typed XOXO,

That’s why I loved you like that,

 

I never thought I could love,

Until I needed to,

I never thought I could trust,

Until I needed to,

I never thought I needed you,

Until I needed to…

I needed to…

 

Oh no no no,

Idk why I loved you like that,

Oh no no no,

I typed XOXO,

Then I waited and I sat,

And you typed XOXO,

That’s why I loved you like that,

 

Brown eyes, Starry skies,

The life we nearly lived,

The things we almost did,

Just to realise who we are,

And that we’re better off apart,

 

Oh no no no,

XOXO

When they took you

Trust me when I tell you it’ll be fine,

Even if your sanity’s on a thin line,

I know everything came out of the blue,

But darling, I tell you, it’s ok to be you,

 

All you ever did was try and hide,

And ever since May last year, part of you died,

But darling, things will be ok one day,

So trust me when I say,

They didn’t want to have to take you away,

 

I know you’re sick of being told to escape your mind,

But maybe you should this time,

So say, you want to go back to how you used to be,

Before the rough tides of the sea,

Came and washed you away,

 

They wanted you to stay,

Even when they had you forced away,

So, for them, you need to stay true,

I’ll see you back to them, I’ll see you through,

 

Remember when they’d tuck you up in bed,

And kiss you goodnight on the forehead,

Hold on to the fragmented memories,

So one day you can tell the almost forgotten stories,

Of when they took you away,

 

One day you’ll get on the train to go home,

And you’ll get rid of the heart stone,

The one that weighs you down each day,

And they’ll tell you, we didn’t want them to take you away.

Man to man

He didn’t know what was right,

At the end of the tunnel there wasn’t light,

He was tired of the bright limelight,

But he knew he wouldn’t go down without a fight,

He’d fight for his best friend,

But for some reason, in the end,

He just wouldn’t get noticed,

He’d smile, and in his head, silently protest.

 

In his room there played a haunting symphony,

While he had a daunting epiphany,

You’re your own worst enemy,

But best remedy, so he looked in the mirror,

And he said, let’s sort this,

Man to man…

 

Sleepless nights crying on the floor,

But, he told himself, who’s keeping score?

He wasn’t there when his friends needed him,

Because his sightlines became dim,

When something bad happened, he wouldn’t say,

So he wouldn’t have to pay,

When no one believed a word from his mouth,

He could become his own Sabaoth,

 

And he said lets sort this,

Man to man…

United/Deletion

Long nights, waiting for your call,

Ripped tights, waiting in your hall,

I know what you really wanted,

A love affair that was small,

 

Consequently, I fell to pieces,

Because of you, I fell apart,

Consequently, I fell to pieces,

Because of you, love was like a dart,

 

I’m home alone, longing for your touch,

Cold as stone, longing for your clutch,

I know what you really wanted,

A love affair that wasn’t such,

 

Consequently, I fell to pieces,

Because of you, I fell apart,

Consequently, I fell to pieces,

Because of you, love was like a dart,

 

Beige shorts, autumn draws in,

Tennis courts, I tell you don’t believe him,

I know what you really wanted,

To treat me as your bin,

 

I needed deletion,

To be united.

Expectations

You’ll expect the world from people,

But all they give you is a broken heart,

Or they’ll want to forget you and restart,

Like the pierce of a dart,

 

I bet you forgot the day I told you to kiss me in the dark,

Or the night I let you throw my heart away,

And after the countless fights, I’d stay,

Now you’re just a face

Without a place…

 

One day you’ll remember your teenage love affairs,

And you won’t recognise the face that stares,

The face that stares blindly on the street,

Because you both finally found your feet,

Now we’re just faces,

Without places…

XX ❤

The separations, speculations,

Your soft smile is a force of nature,

Their narrow eyes, pine tree green,

Your dimples, your best feature,

But your eye flickers, not too keen,

 

From the first night I saw you,

I wanted to put up a fight, for you,

Without a disastrous clean-up, of love,

That will leave us in pieces,

Like broken glass on the beaches,

So, babes let’s start now,

Xx, “heart”,

 

The complications, expectations,

Your loving it was off the rails,

But I had to keep you on track,

Hands were as hard as nails,

Stare enough to give me a heart attack,

 

From the first night I laid eyes on you,

I placed down my weapons to get you,

As I didn’t want the disastrous clean-up, of love,

That will leave us in tatters,

Lying on the broken mattress,

So, babes let’s start now,

Xx, “heart”.

 

Secret romance/Honeymoon

People laughed at us,

Said we’ll never last,

So we kept it secret,

 

They stared at us,

When they thought we were a thing of the past,

We kept it top secret,

 

They gossiped about us,

But we made it last,

It was a secret love like no other,

And that’s because love lasts forever,

 

It was us,

We were it,

Before we crashed and burned,

Burned in the flames,

The Flames from the ashes,

Ashes from the letters,

Letters from you,

To me,

From the honeymoon phase.

Say you love me/Black Nikes

Black Nikes, dark night, moor side play-fight,

Long nights staring in your starry eyes,

Told me loving you mightn’t be wise,

Because it’ll only end with us having to cry,

But I’m going to tell you the truth…

 

Tuesday night in early April might have broken me,

It could’ve gone worse couldn’t it, couldn’t it?

Three days later, it’d over but you still love me,

And I want that to still be true. Isn’t it, isn’t it?

Just say that you still love me,

 

Endless nights, silent sighs, sat looking at the sky,

Wondering how for a few days you were mine,

But secretly you want time,

To become better, I suppose ‘fine’,

But I’m going to tell you the truth…

 

Tuesday night in early April might have broken me,

It could’ve gone worse couldn’t it, couldn’t it?

Three days later, it’d over but you still love me,

And I want that to still be true. Isn’t it, isn’t it?

Just say that you still love me,

Give me hope babe,

Because I still like you.

Loving you in the dark

I thought there was a spark,

But baby I was loving you in the dark,

My one way loving became stark,

I guess, I shouldn’t have loved you in the dark,

 

I need to know you missed me,

I want you to pretend you kissed me,

Because it hissed through my body,

And I know you loved somebody,

Who didn’t, and would never love you back.

 

Walking each night through the park,

But baby I was loving you in the dark,

Then I’d make a s**t remark,

I guess, I shouldn’t have loved you in the dark,

 

I need to know you trusted me,

I want to pretend you weren’t disgusted by me,

Because it rusted my whole body,

And I know you loved somebody,

Who didn’t, and would never love you back.

 

I thought there was a spark,

But baby I was loving you in the dark,

My one way loving became stark,

I guess, I shouldn’t have loved you in the dark.

 

Goodbye (With Lexie Kelly)

You said that what we had was special,

And I believed your every word,

You told me that you loved me,

So how come now you’re with her,

And maybe I was just a fool,

For trusting you the way I did,

And maybe you made me cry,

But I’m no longer broken hearted,

 

I gave you my heart, it was broken and bruised,

But you made it seem fixed and new,

And darling I never wanted to hurt you,

But now that it’s all said and done,

I realise that baby I’m better off alone,

 

I used to feel that every time I saw you,

I would die just a little bit more,

And I’ll admit sometimes I miss you,

But my heart is no longer yours,

‘Cause since you left me I’ve grown strong,

I no longer believe in your lies,

It’s time for me to move on,

So baby I just want to say goodbye,

 

I gave you my heart, it was broken and bruised,

But you made it seem fixed and new,

And darling I never wanted to hurt you,

But now that it’s all said and done,

I realise that baby I’m better off alone,

Now and then I like to think about the fun times we shared,

Just you and me,

That’s why I cannot figure out how you moved on so easily,

Maybe she just treats you better than I ever could,

But darling let me tell you, she cannot love you like I would,

And I know it’s about time that I should move on,

But darling, I ask for a moment, one last one…

 

I gave you my heart, it was broken and bruised,

But you made it seem fixed and new,

And darling I never wanted to hurt you,

But now that it’s all said and done,

I realise that baby I’m better off alone.

OMG, I’m a liar

This is where I say goodbye,

Because I ain’t got no tears to cry,

Since you sliced my sanity,

OMG, maybe you’ll finally see,

That you broke me.

 

Said you’d like to fight me in a field,

But for that I’ll need to rebuild my shield,

The one that your words crumbled,

And there and then, down it tumbled.

 

This is where I say goodbye,

Because I ain’t got no tears to cry,

Since you sliced my sanity,

OMG, maybe you’ll finally see,

That you broke me.

 

Mate, I didn’t even get to the good stuff,

Before you called my bluff.

 

Thought you could get what you wanted,

Slid in and took it all from me,

And my midnight dreams you haunted,

Said we can never be, never be the same,

And never again be sane,

OMG, maybe you’ll finally see,

That you broke me.

Honey

Little girls, they’ll hold your hands and kiss,

Even when you least need,

It makes you struggle to breathe,

The friends that become snakes and hiss,

Take advantage of you wearing your heart on your sleeve,

It makes them believe they can deceive,

But honey, all it takes is you to prove them wrong,

 

You’ll be alright, no one can get you now,

The dark, dark night will come in like a cloud,

And honey, you will be hidden in a shroud,

 

Small talk, it fills your head every day,

From those once closest,

Their words soon become the harshest,

The exes that still play,

On your mind, even the cruellest,

It comes back to haunt you in your hour that’s darkest,

But honey, all it takes is you to prove them wrong.

 

Honey, my final request, it is,

Please don’t forget this.

Happens again

You were a liar, a stringer,

Told me you loved me too,

And yet you had a poison stinger,

Told me I was everything to you,

But even now I love you,

 

You scorned my mind to death,

Made me believe I was mad,

And with every single breath,

You scrunched me to feel sad,

But even now I love you,

 

I keep lying and telling myself,

One day it’ll all be fine,

That maybe I won’t die on the shelf,

And I might call you mine,

But even now I love you,

 

You made me feel I was crazy,

Even to the smallest action,

But finally, really baby,

Even if it’s just a fraction,

I feel less love for you.   

 

History

Sat next to you, blue barrels,

Laughing through the town centre,

I hated our petty battles,

They felt like the storm centre,

But babes this time it’s history,

 

I miss our walks around the town,

Unfortunately, all the lies got in the way,

And slowly the ship went down,

But this time I’ll say,

We’re over now, its history,

 

You and I, its history,

Looked me in the eyes, told me don’t cry,

We’ll get through, we’ve got to be true,

Everything we had, it’s almost sad,

But baby I’ve got to say,

We’re history,

 

You were my favourite song,

My everything, my every day,

The nights we’d fight were long,

But this time I’ll say,

We’re over now, its history,

 

You and I, its history,

Looked me in the eyes, told me don’t cry,

We’ll get through, we’ve got to be true,

Everything we had, it’s almost sad,

But baby I’ve got to say,

We’re history,

 

Sometimes you’ve got to lose yourself to another,

To discover the real you.

Author's Note

Hi, it's taken a lot of getting to this point where I'm able to release this writing. This is about the journey of love and finding yourself, from falling out of love and in love to understanding who you are as a person. There were two people that inspired this collection and I wanted to thank them (you know who you are), I hope you all like it and thank you to everyone for the endless support. Ben xoxo