Life that holds no meaning

Life which holds no meaning. There are many, mine is one of those. Disgrace and disgust that follow me forever will not leave. There is one too little reasons for me to stay and one too many to go forever. It's a dreadful world of many. I do not enjoy this one at all. But who really knows? This might be the best that can be offered, but even so I take this one for granted because I have the right to do so. 

So if at the end I chose to go you have no right to blame me for my decision because it was not my decision to exist in the first place. Do not be mistaken. I will thank you for your efforts and apologize for any pain or suffer I inflicted, however it is as far as it will go.

Everything is okay because I will return to earth which I belong to. I'll go back to deep water I so feared. The fear before it shall become my salvation and comfort. Water which hurts my lungs shall close my eyes for eternal rest. Finally there will be no worry left for me. No problem I would have to take on and no more suffer beyond my skin. My lifeless body shall roam the endless sea to seek redemption for the earthly sins it has committed. And my soul, now free shall seek it's purpose outside the realm that binds it.  

As for me so for you, a new beginning. I hope the memories I have provided for you will be enough. And I hope they will not be the ones you wish to erase or forget. This life might not hold meaning for me, but it does not mean it has to be the same for you. Be well and strong. When time comes we'll meet each other again beyond the realm of living.