Alive?

Please be careful, this includes, Self harm, Suicide thoughts and seeing things

Alive 

It was way to deep, 

not the words I got told by my brain every day 

but the blade that cut into my arm which made me feel…

alive 

alive you say? 

The Pain I feel while having a piece of metal open another wound on my already scard arm. 

The happiness I feel even tho I am sitting on my bathroom floor with a blood lake. 

The tears that are running down my cheek and leave a wet spot on my shirt. 

Is that what makes you feel alive? 

My eyes have been broken .

My eyes move around the room and my brain converts it into bad things. 

My eyes capture things that not a soul would notice or care about. 

My eyes are the reason why I am like this. 

What makes you feel dead? 

The Voices that keep talking to me. 

The Voices which won't leave me alone.

The voices that make me hate 

Hate you say? 

Hate is different for everyone.

Hate is myself for me Hate is my future 

And Hate is my past 

Can you fix this? 

Fixing something in your mind may take a while 

It takes a risk.

I have taken that risk

and I have failed 

Author's Note

I am from Germany so, please don't mind my grammar and spelling