It's a Secret

The Thing consumed my soul.

Permanently scarring, leaving a hole.

My mind is a creation new.

A cowering light, hidden from view.

I want, I need to scream.

To suffocate this unwelcome dream.

I’ve fallen from my safety net,

but I can’t tell anyone. It’s a secret.

 

The Beast haunts my disillusions.

Disrupting my horizon with its own protrusions.

Forget the Beast and bury the celebration.

I can’t even control the negotiation.

To be cradled in the arms of a Beast,

is a lingering, essential feast.

I need to feel wanted, and yet,

I can’t tell anyone. It’s a secret.

 

The Fight, it’s been lost.

Slain on the ground in which I’m tossed.

A strategic battle ending in defeat,

I’ve lived my life in the traveler seat.

Giving up was never in my design.

But this was always their battle, never mine.

They’ve held the strings and I regret,

but I can’t tell anyone. It’s a secret.

Author's Note

First poem I've liked in a while. Hopefully this is the start of something great...critiques welcome.

Reviews

[RedInk524]

Ah yes, another example of your everchanging mind. This piece is not dark intentionally, but naturally due to its personal flare. So much pain, so much despair shown in the lines... And even a sense of hoplessness..
The beast, you and i both know what that is. Personally, i call it The demon. And just like for most people with these unpleasant struggles, its a secret. And so the person is forced to hold it all within and battle the beast on thier own, its a secret. A dark, hopesucking, and malicious beast.
I love your dark turn, and i love this poem. Perhaps you should change your name to Raven, its a dark bird and you are no summer or spring bird anymore. :D

[Sleeping Maiden]

Beautiful. I love it. I can relate and understand this piece. Keeping a dark secret can be tough.. this poem seems to have different messages to about anyone. But we struggle with our inner self with secrets... sometimes falling.. but it's not our fault.. sometimes we're just pushed there..
This is a powerful write!!! Amazing.

[Alicia Hirshey]

This is beautifully written, but for you that is nothing new. This is horribly true in more than one way and this poem can be taken in more than one way which makes it just as good as the rest of your poems. It has a dark sense about it and I guess that is why I like it so much. I myself have gotten kinda dark but with past coming out and everything seeming like it is falling apart our words turn with the strings of our hearts. I love this.

[Mashairi]

Beautifully written and horribly true. Excellent job :)

[Little Birdie]

The horrible burden of having to bear a secret of any sort is nicely portrayed here. Sounds very determined, great write.

[Incendiary Grievances]

This was a beautiful and powerful piece. Your imagery is fascinating, and your repetition of "It's a secret" was so well used.

"Giving up was in never in my design", indeed. You truly have a way with words.

[Blessed_Angel]

Wow this is good. i loved how you used powerful words in this poem. Great job.