Constant Night

Just weird poem..

Behind this smile 

Is a crying child

Behind this act

Is a life that is cracked

Behind this tear 

Is a silent prayer

Slowly this child begins to drown

Feeling like they're in a ghost town

No one seems to hear their screams

But, they don't dare to dream

Thinking about life

As they raise the knife

Not knowing what else to do

As if they already knew

That this thing that you call a life

Is a constant night

Author's Note

I tried to get it all rhyming, tell me what ya think

Reviews

[Amber Lily]

I think you did great with the rhyming :)
True, to a person or more specifically a child who is living through hell it does feel like it's night all the time. When life is so dark it can be difficult to find the light. But that's only because in this type of life, you need to find the light yourself. A great write :)

[Kurai.Merodi]

Thanks, you really get what i was going for in this. Glad ya liked it

[Amber Lily]

You're very welcome!

[DBKaine]

I LOVE it! You def' have a natural talent! I'm intrigued for more x

[Ashish Hegde]

I liked the line at the end. A good poem overall. Nice simple and short. I think you need to have a specific rhyming scheme if you are to rhyme your poems. I was about to point out a mistake but it has already been suggested by DormanDan. Keep writing.
Cheers!

[DoormanDan]

I'd say you've done very well with the rhyming on this poem, and the poem itself is written very well. Just remember to never try and force a rhyme, it probably won't benefit your song/poem. You really generated a dark atmosphere with this poem, and is a fine example of the kind of poetry I like to read a lot of the time, because this genre can usually have so much emotion in it. I saw one typo though, nothing major;

"Feeling like their in a ghost town" it should be "they're", not "their". Other than that, fantastic job! :)