Hephaestus Courts Aphrodite

A Story by Blake Kairos

This was a story I made my freshmen year for my last English project. The subject was Greek Mythology, influenced by the Odyssey. Original Finish Date: May 21, 2014.

Hephaestus Courts Aphrodite

Also known as Eris’s Revenge

Characters

Hephaestus- Lover in vain of Aphrodite and seeks for her attention

Eris- Serious troublemaker, secretly wishes to rid of Aphrodite for love of Ares

Aphrodite- Lover of Ares; sees Hephaestus as a bother

Ares- Lover of Aphrodite

Apollo- friends with Hephaestus; younger twin brother to Artemis

Artemis- Older twin sister of Apollo, who semi bullies him

Hermes-Younger half-brother to Apollo, mischievous

Ares leaped over a downed horse and threw a spear at a soldier of the opposing army. It hit with deadly accuracy. The man cried out in pain as he dropped his sword and fell of his horse. Ares laughed in triumph and continued running with his sword drawn, looking for another foe to slaughter. Around him the battlefield raged in yelling and metal clanging against metal. The ground was red with blood, but not of Ares. Soon he was bored and left back to Olympus to see the reactions of the other Gods and Goddesses, mainly Aphrodite.

He was very worried about her, since they were lovers, but more than just for that reason, he knew that Eris-the goddess of Chaos- loved him to, and would do anything to get him. Meanwhile, he only wanted to stay friends, like they have been since childhood. But since he fell for Aphrodite, wasn’t surprising because she is the goddess of beauty, Eris became continuously fuller and fuller of dejection, which turned to jealousy, which turned to anger, which turned to revenge. Aphrodite was oblivious to Eris’s feelings, but Ares knew how fragile she was, and how easily she would succumb to Eris’s will.

“I’m back!” Ares called when he had entered Olympus. Aphrodite ran up to hug him. As he retold the story, some of the Gods and Goddesses sighed in boredom. Ares often joined in pointless battles and always on return boasted about his strength. By now, most of them were tired of this occurrence, however none dared complain for uprising a rage from Zeus, Ares’ father, and King of the Gods. Now, it seemed that even Zeus was getting annoyed by this. Other than him, Athena was the only to listen intently, but her cause was even more irritating. She would, after Ares had finished, bring up all of his faults in his fighting and how much better she was than him at fighting. (She did this, for she was the Goddess of battle strategy, as well as wisdom. But what no one knew, nor cared to know, was that Ares didn’t do it for strategy, he did it for fun, which Athena would only think was foolish.)

“I wish I could make Aphrodite happy with heroism like Ares can. If only I wasn’t lame!” Hephaestus whispered in despair to Apollo, his friend, as Ares finished his tale of epic proportions.

“You like Aphrodite?” Apollo asked, surprised. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think that’s going to happen.” he continued solemnly. When he saw the anguish in his eyes widen, he said quickly, “But I’ll be sure to think of some good ideas for you to prove yourself.” Hephaestus seemed to relax at this news. But Apollo knew the cause was fruitless. Hephaestus would never be able to fight in any battles, let alone have a slightest lust for the shedding of blood, in fact, he was known to be soft by Ares and was often taunted by him for it.

Over the next few days Apollo worked tirelessly to get any ideas to help his friend with his love problem. He finally got inspiration. After all, he was the God of prophesy. He went to Hephaestus and proclaimed his thought: “You could recite a poem for her!”

Hephaestus contemplated the thought for a moment and replied, “But I don’t know how to write one.”

“No. I will ask for the Muses to come and assist me in writing the most melodic poem that would fit this cause. I can have the Muses then give you some information about poetry so that you’ll know how to rehearse it.” He elucidated. After a moment of consideration, Hephaestus agreed with it and soon Apollo put the arrangement into play.

***

Meanwhile, Ares was having problems of his own. He confronted Eris about how he sincerely loved Aphrodite and how she shouldn’t try to hurt Aphrodite. “If you really love me, then you will accept this and not envy Aphrodite or seek for her demise.” He told her. However this only made Eris even angrier, even at Ares.

“I will have him, but to do so I now must cause the end to the vile Aphrodite, but now it must be in secret, caused by an accident, but how can I do this?” Eris was now contemplating her own plan to get her love, but, unlike Hephaestus, she did so in murderous rage.

***

Soon the poem was finished and Hephaestus was educated enough to deliver it. When Apollo had made the announcement in front of all of Olympus, Zeus was mildly surprised. All others were lazily looking about without any care. The poem is lost in translation. When Hephaestus had finished, the Muses cheered in success (they had stayed due to the pleading of Apollo but left right afterwards). When the Muses’ cheering had subsided, Hephaestus stood trembling in the still silence that was broken by Hermes burping.

Some glanced in his direction with irritation in their eyes but all stayed silent. Hermes smiled sheepishly and got up and left. Aphrodite whispered something into Ares’ ear and he chuckled softly. Then, they got up and departed as well. Hephaestus was crushed.

Later, when they were alone, Apollo wondered aloud what happened. Hephaestus stayed silent. “I think I know what went wrong. She didn’t like how you had to rely on me to come up with verses.” Apollo stated. Here, Hephaestus tried to interrupt with how he couldn’t have written the verses by himself, but Apollo wouldn’t let him interject because of understanding. He continued with, “I know you couldn’t have done it on your own. But I think she’d like it if you made something for her.”

“But what could I do? I’m no hero…” Hephaestus injected.

“Well, she does like jewelry, she’s always wearing those golden earrings, and you’re a smith. You can make that kind of stuff.”

“I am aware of this. However, I am out of precious metals.”

“Do not worry, my good comrade. I know of a Dragon’s den in which Hermes and I could go get great diamonds and precious gold for your forge.”

“I couldn’t ask you to do this for me… You are oh so very kind. Dear indeed.”

Apollo leaves to speak with Hermes. Hephaestus went to create the best swords and other weaponry for their journey.

“Hephaestus needs more precious metals for a project. I know of a Dragon’s cave I could plunder but I’ll need help. Do you want to come?” Apollo asked his half-brother.

“Sure! Olympus has been to boring lately. I’d love for some excitement!” He answered readily.

Just then Artemis appeared, carrying a big lion over her shoulders, covered in its blood. “What are you talking about? A mission? Don’t make me laugh! I’m not to sure you’d make it by yourself, younger brother. Let me come with you.” She attempted to sound mildly insistent, but it came out in a brute demanding.

Apollo sighed in slight annoyance. “Fine. You can come.” Hermes shouted for joy.

They then went to ready themselves for the journey in secret. Apollo packed food and other supplies and got animals ready. Artemis got the weaponry from Hephaestus: A sword and bow with a quiver of arrows for each of them. Since this was all supposed to be secretive, Hermes made up an excuse, as crafty as he is, to avert suspicion to their absence. (To see more information about their journey, see Apollo: Fighting the Dragon)

***

During their expedition, plots of murderous secrecy were schemed at the hands of Eris.

“Oh, Aphrodite?” she called to her. When she came, Eris continued: “I would just love it if you would join me in a little party.” Eris’s voice was smooth but was sly; deceiving like a concealed venomous wrath within a pot of honey, enticing, but unknowably fatal.

Aphrodite was unsuspecting of the deceitful conduct. Her immense naivety resulted with having a hazardously excessive trusting personality. “Yes! I will enjoy such a thing!” She exclaimed, only too willing to please.

Eris smiled, knowing her plan was coming without fail. But, suddenly seeing a major flaw, she smoothed it out by warning: “However, do not tell Ares about this. It’s a girl’s only party. He’d only get in the way. Do you understand?”

Overcome by acceptance, Aphrodite was completely obliged to undertake the invitation. Expecting nothing of Eris’s plot of revenge, she also agreed to leave Ares in ignorance of her sociability.

As she tells more of the arrangements of where they will meet, Hephaestus just happened to be passing by and eavesdropped on them. Knowing Eris’s constant chaotic intents, he knows that she means to put Aphrodite in danger. He walks away with a sigh. Knowing when this is supposed to be planed out makes it easier to prevent, but he doesn’t feel like it’s his place for interference, since Ares and Aphrodite were a ‘couple’. So, he decided to only tell Ares about it, and let him deal with it. If he didn’t, only then would Hephaestus intervene with helping Aphrodite.

Ares reacted unexpectedly to Hephaestus. He entirely rejected what he had told him. He was absolutely confident that Eris would listen to his pleas with her to not harm Aphrodite. Since he knew that Hephaestus also liked Aphrodite, he figured that he was just trying to make Ares seem unreasonably paranoid, and maybe even possessive, over her and seem stupid in front of Eris for mistrusting her.

Hephaestus went away distraughtly thinking of the worst possible scenarios of how the situation could end. He met up with Athena and, noticing his depressed attitude, asked him what was wrong. When he explained, Athena chortled.

“Why should I care at all about Ares’ problems? I take joy in misfortunes as of his.” she said narcissistically. “If Aphrodite wants to get hurt because of him, then she deserves his fate as well.” She then walked away, leaving a really paranoid and desperate Hephaestus to huddle in a corner as he tried to compose a plan hastily to prevent Aphrodite’s horribly pointless demise. Suddenly, he got an idea.

***

Eris opened the creaky door to the library. The lights were off as she had planned. She told Aphrodite that she would be there after Aphrodite showed, since she had some work to do, and that all the other ‘girls’ would probably arrive with herself. This gave Eris time to hide and not be suspicious. She concealed herself behind one of the hefty, elongated, bookcases that were positioned closer rearward of the colossal, capacious room. Once she was in her correct spot, she took out a lengthy, curved saber that shined in her eyes.

Her objective was to gut her, to totally annihilate her body. She was planning on scalping her first, and then to go at her belly, work her way up, and slaughter her by smashing her rib cage into splinters that would pierce her lungs, suffocating her as well. Eris wanted to make her suffer, so this would all be prolonged to suffice her pleasure. Gods and Goddesses may be immortal, but they can’t do much without their head, so Eris would use the hooked blade of the saber to remove it. Her other tools included a double bladed axe, an iron hammer, and a sadistic ability that made her fingernails grow to make them better described as claws.

Then, the door opened and slammed, as Aphrodite entered the darkened library. Her high-heels clicked on the tile stone floor. She was slowly singing to herself as she walked. Hephaestus also entered, but unnoticed. He was slinking, hiding behind the maze of bookcases like Eris was. Aphrodite sat down at one of the tables that had many artistic paintings covering its surface. A shadow slowly crawled across the floor, a human shape with the point of the blade sticking out, practically hissing with anticipation. Then, she struck.

The blade of the saber swished through the air at least a light speed. Aphrodite wouldn’t even have had time to blink before she had been severed by the hooked, pre-sharpened edge to death. However, Hephaestus was quicker.

His staff pierced the small of her back with a sharp ‘crack!’ and splinters spread across the surface from the broken rod. Eris fell as soon as the collision happened with an agonized moan of anger. Aphrodite leaped from her chair with a start and quickly ran for protection from the now beginning brawl. Eris got up in a rage and whipped her sword in Hephaestus’ direction; however, he had already disappeared from whence he was.

He had traveled behind her and grabbed her hammer to defend his self, using the bought time from her recovery. While she was slashing wildly, Hephaestus clunked her on the head with the hammer, not enough to harm her extensively, but just enough to knock her unconscious. He continued in wrapping her up defenselessly in thick bands of rope and gagging her with cloth. He called for Aphrodite to come out rapidly so they could get to safety. He took her to Zeus for judgment on her evil deeds.

She was sentenced to banishment with a penalty of death if not kept. Ares was astounded that Hephaestus had been telling the truth at that time and Aphrodite was very contempt with him for not saving her. She then had fallen in deep love with Hephaestus for his immense bravery and skill with a hammer. He had gained much favor and respect in all the other Gods and Goddesses.

Shortly after that time, Apollo came back with some great jewels and other precious metals. Hephaestus made a figure and called her ‘Pandora’ (To see more information about Pandora’s story, see Pandora: A Tribute to Aphrodite) out of that material as a tribute to Aphrodite; she said it was fabulous. Soon after that, they got married. Not much is known about the celebration, but scholars know as much to assume that it was a huge party.