Let Me Cry

They said I could join them in their game.

But it was a lie.

Their game had been soccer until they let me in, then it turned into them using me as a punching bag.

I can still feel their punches, kicks, and rocks they’ve thrown on my skin, my body, and the wall holding my emotions back. I want to show them my pain, the hurt, the sadness, the anger, frustration, and the tears of everything melding together but it is looked down upon.

I’m not supposed to show them emotion, that is the rule in my family; “emotion is weakness” and there are no questions to be asked about it.

But I feel that there’s something wrong with this rule. How are you not supposed to show emotion, especially when you’re in so much pain and wishing that you could cry?

The answer that I came up with was�"write everything down.

But today, when they promised I could play with them and they turn around in a 180 and beat me up was wrong. It makes me want to do something I shouldn’t even consider because I know it will take me down to their level�"a level so low that Hell spits them back out.

I want to cry, but that’s frowned upon even more because it’s even more weak than any emotion combined. But I don’t care, it’s one of the few ways I’ve been able to keep my sanity for so long when writing can’t help.

If I don’t cry soon, I fear I may break it hurts so much. It hurts so much that I can feel every crack form in the damn that’s holding everything back and they echo like a break in my bones.

Why is crying so condemned? Why is it a rule that crying isn’t allowed? Why is it frowned upon when your tears show?

I want to know before I lose my sanity.

Author's Note

I had decided a few days almost a week ago that I wouldn't post anything that I recently wrote... but I decided that's stupid so here's this!