EVERYTHING IS OK

anyone can use this to interpret another, yea go head and get angry, get confused in the deepness of my world, i consume all, devour and breath, you think im the unborn truth, forced to lie, forced to conserve the unknown, you cant begin to understand, you cant begin to know, that i, am the new the legend of a far away truth, let me wrap my arms and begin, you would feel me, you wont begin to know, this is it, believe me, its ok, live, for life will keep coming, we all will rest in the end, we all will awake in the end, for truth always comes, in the end.

Reviews

[Doreen]

There's a chaotic feel to the read that I like. I think the overuse of commas takes away from what you're doing. The block form works. I do wonder why there is no capitalization; nor is there punctuation other than the commas and the final period. im should be I'm. Breath should be breathe. deepness? Is there such a word? Depth would work much better. cant should be can't. etc.. Also, "let me wrap my arms" - are you wrapping them up in something, such as gauze? Or are the arms wrapping around something, such as a person? This should be made more clear. All in all I like the vibe of this. It makes one think.

[KAREN]

The truth always has a way of coming out! Great write!

[Escape My Fate]

:D Amazing

[Dani]

Interesting thoughts.
I agree with solidad's comment.

[Solidad]

Your words are spun like chaos and it can be a bit much at times. Yet I'm sure you pride yourself on it. You write quite well but your formatting hurts you because readers have to constantly re-read it to catch everything. If you didn't write so eloquently I wouldn't bother. Be careful with your creative license though you are a good writer it could come back to bite you.

[Jeffrey Gershom]

This is a very interesting piece of poetry. Sometimes I feel you have a kind of god complex in your work; that is to say, that you seem to feel that you're in control. Maybe it is that you like to place yourself in that position and wonder what it would feel like to know everything. At least, your ending is up beat. You could possibly be a good "overseer."

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Your block form is a bit confusing but all those commas are a setback as well I think...I think I would change "deepness" to "depth" and "breath" to "breathe" even if you intend to keep the format. Does truth come in the end? I wonder. For whom? Whose truth? Truth is relative to perception....what you percieve is true to you as much as what I percieve is true to me. And there are damn few absolute truths...if any. Everything that lives, dies. That is a percieved truth. But it is not a absolute truth since we do not KNOW everything that lives, nor can we. There MAY be eternally living organisms somewhere; perhaps on some distant planet...perhaps here on earth. There are creatures living in acid that is superheated to 500 degrees F at the bottom of the ocean in a volcano with zero sunlight... so nothing would surprise me. Will we all rest? Who knows? But I'd try to keep a hopeful perspective. lol Interesting, thought provoking and entertaining.

[Thoctar]

Love the unique style, the mixture of confusion and chaos on the one hand, and organization and order on the other and power infusing it all. Sounds like it would make a very good song. Good job!

[Marie Harrison]

I'm loving your poetry. It's freeing! Iam the new legend of a far away truth, Let me wrap my arms and begin, you would feel me, you won't begin to know. A very fun piece.

[xlovehatealicex]

such a unique piece of writing you have here.
i love the part
"for truth always comes, in the end"
the structure couldve been done a little differently in my opinion,
but this is y its' your piece not mine, right?
anyways good job. :D

[Daniel Soloye]

amazing truely amazing loved it