Dumb Blonde

Dumb Blonde

A Poem by Skai Rain

    Did you know I am stupid?

      You can tell by just looking at me.

             I have bright blonde hair, and some big old boobies.

              

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

That is what they say.

I love makeup, and pink, and am giggly for days.

I can't figure out your fractions.

But I can throw you an insult in vulgar Latin.

Stultus Est Sicut Stultus Facit.


That means stupid is as stupid does.

I'm often called stupid just 'cause,

I have b***s. Of my b***s you seem fond.


Fond. Elizabeth Bathory was fond of blood.

She killed many virgins for her immortality drug.

Despite her atrocities, the Queen of Hungary she was.


Hungary. Now I want food.


Pardon my brain, it's a little too loose.

Loose. Genghis Khan was quite loose.

1 in 200 are descended from his juice.


Juice. Many juices contain antimony.

A sometimes lethal substance; avoiding can be quite tricky

The lead in that can kill you. How freaky.


Freaky. I bet you're wondering how freaky I can get.

Did you know, there are billions of microscopic creatures inhabiting your bed?

Your pillow gains 5 pounds a year from their fecal matter; where you rest your head.


Head. Is that all you want from me?


D****t, I got sidetracked again.

5.9 million kids were diagnosed with ADD in 2010

They threw pills at poor, little, old Fred.

Fred called me a prude cause I wouldn't take him to bed.


F**k Fred.

He thinks I'm stupid.

So do you. 

When you laugh and call me "Ditz"

I'm secretly laughing back at you.

© 2016 Skai Rain


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Reviews

Clever transitions. That is one blonde I wouldn't mess with :)

Posted 2 Years Ago


Unusual but very clever writing

Posted 3 Years Ago



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3 Reviews
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Added on January 20, 2016
Last Updated on January 20, 2016
Tags: Humor, Dumb, Blonde, Mock, Science

Author

Skai Rain
Skai Rain

Canada



About
My name is Brit and I've been writing since I was about eleven. My skill still isn't magnificent, but that's why I have come to this site. So please give me as much support as you can and I shall do .. more..

Writing
For Love For Love

A Poem by Skai Rain