Chapter One

     As I walked I hummed to myself quietly, trying to calm my nerves. I began to quiver as the cold sank its teeth into my veins, chilling me to the very bone. I watched as it slithered through the night, tapping its victims on the shoulder, looking them dead in the eyes, and them killing them slowly. Like a plague, it swept over the city of Algeron and sent shivers down the backs over every person that it encountered. I could sense the eyes of a hundred shadows watching me from their shady corners, examinging my every move. I could hear their whispers floating on the wind and feel the chill of their breath against my neck.
    The futher I walked the louder the whispers grew. "Turn around. They're watching you." came the voice of an elderly woman.
    She emerged from the shadows: pale, grey, and fragile.There was a spark of fear in her ice blue eyes, and a tremble in her bony fingers. She placed a wrinkled hand on my shoulder and looked up at me, her eyes burning into mine.

    "Go home. You don't belong here in the shadows. Please.. You mustn't go on."

     She lifted her hand up off of my shoulder to caress my face and then bwegan to run her long skinny fingers through my hair.

      "You're so beautiful.. I remember when I was beautiful. Long brown hair, bright blue eyes. A real catch.Then curiosity got ahold of me just the way it did you. That wall intrigued me, drew me in. I wanted to get over it, to break it down, to see the other side. I told myself I could get past them and that it'd be worth it in the end and look at me now. They suckedthe life out of me. All of the youth, the beauty, the happiness. They took it all. Don't let them do the same to you.. Turn around." and with that she was gone.. into the darkness once again.

     My heart dropped. Anxiety brewed within me, tearing me to pieces from the inside out. Turn around. They're watching you. Her words hung in the air like a pungent odor. They began to eat at my mind and to alter my thoughts. My knees grew weak. I felt as if I moved the wrong way they would collapse beneath me. I tried to tell my feet to keep moving but they defied me. Instead they turned on heel and began to full on sprint in the opposite direction.

    

Author's Note

This chapter is not finished, obviously, but I want to know what you think of it so far. Give me some imput. :) Thanks!

Reviews

[Jama]

Hi,

Great writing, but I felt sort of lost. For a first chapter, this is missing a lot of foundation. There is no setting established, no protagonist name, no sense of direction or motive. Without these things it's impossible to hope that people will emotionally invest in your character. Why is the character outside in the first place? Is it night time? Where is she going? Who is she?

I'd like to see more of this story in the future. Keep posting!

[Dramatics]

:3 quite nice better than me