Black Water

It's just black water... Why not drink your fill...

It is just black water in this fine lake.

Why don't you drink your fill?

You'll be fine I promise....

That's it, drink.

What's that? You feel sick?

Well, surely that isn't my fault.

Poison? No, of course not, I'm not that cruel.

Don't blame me, you drank this stuff!

Sleepy? Then, sleep, my darling, sleep the day away and I shall take care of you.

Am I demon? That is a question I can't answer, now sleep.

Will you wake up? Uh... Yes, in a different sort of way

And what I mean by that is your soul will not be in you but mine.

I will have your body and you will have mine.

I am nothing and your are something and that is all I want.

So, my darling, sleep or not,

Your body is mine and my body is yours.

Author's Note

A different sort of poem, I guess. I was going to be a story but instead, I posted this. Poem? Or story? Whats your vote? And, what do you think?

Reviews

[anne p. murray- LadeeAn..]

Very mysterious and intriguing. i do like it in the aspect of a 'poem'.
As I always say never shut down the personal creativity of a writer.
What or how they write is always a personal choice and for anyone else to put boundaries on it limits the fire that belongs solely to the writer

[::Yv0nne::]

From the beginning this reminded me of the story of Adam and Eve in the garden of eden..the water is the apple..the person telling the story is the serpent..persuading her that everything is going to be fine..
"Well, surely that isn't my fault." no one forced them to do it right? everyone has their own choice..sometimes its not always the right decision..
Good poem..i enjoyed it

[Forever Mine Poetry]

This is dark and interesting. In a weird sort of way, kinda reminds me of a scene from Harry Potter( sorry for the comparrison), but anyways I really enjoyed reading this :)

- Forever Mine

[deeps]

Very intesne indeed, I think of it more as a poem
it seems more fitting. Very well written.

[Complex Disaster]

Very creative, and intense! Great work

[Macy A. Brown]

good writing but not sure it is fit to be a poem
probally would make a good story

[Hunter C. Brown]

a good poem. though i think you could take it farther as a story. might make a good novel

[Canicus]

yeah I go with poem. I think it has more meaning this way.
the person feels unperfect, and wac=nt's to be someone else. I think we've all had this feeling at one point or another. good job

[Niki Wilson]

Poem is my vote. You don't have to think that poetry is like a story... it basically is thje same, just different format and more use of describing..

[TheElfPrincess]

Creepy, very well written. A shiver ran down my spine while reading. I think it would also make a good story.