Apology to Kurt

up down, up down

                                spiraling all around

               in childhood  moved around

                    tossed aside

            never did you lash  out

              in anger or harm others

         you became a soul

            too delicate for this world

                                       feeling all it's pain

           you sang your

          tragic songs

                  shot up heroine

           up down,  up down

         a brain out of control

                                      spiraling all around

          we heard your songs

                 and your agony

           you were tossed  around

                     but your lonely voice

           wasn't heard

                       only the harmony and the pain

 

    We never heard the sound when you went away

                      that day

       Not the blast of the bullet fired into your shattered brain

                        Forgive us our trespasses

           for letting you down,  and not reaching into your hellish

                 cancer

 

      

 

         

 

                               

Reviews

[Wharton]

Kurt Cobain I assume. It was a short but influential life he led and he's left a lasting legacy. The form of your poem works well for it shows ths sort of roller-coaster life, those mood swings, etc. I'm not what society could or could not have done to help him, but there must have been signs that he was in trouble. Maybe the pain that he felt is what made his music relevant to so many...and also why his death seems to have left such a lasting impression on a generation. Lovely written.

[Butterflymom]

I've re-written this piece!

[The Flawed]

I like the way you write a story of a life, with a few choice words. Well done.

[Julio Angel Ortiz]

I like this a lot. There's a rhythm there that I really, really enjoyed. Your word choice was spot-on and the ending is haunting. Great job!

[Passingdaze]

I love it. Deep and tragic...Just like his tortured life. Too many have forgotten just how much that man did for music and how much he suffered. Thank you...

[zaney]

I love this - the melancholy, it translates almost to intimacy of one person, marveling at another. the arrangement adds to the chaotic mood, but it's still muted somehow. and your diction is very careful, which i s something I respect very much. you said exactly what you'd meant to say, for the most part. it's very subtle.