Congratulations!...Not.

Chapter 1

"Line up!" the Matron shouts, her crisp, commanding voice sending us all scrambling into a line. All of us children stand shoulder-to-shoulder in the white-washed room. I feel Peter, my little brother, and see Esther, my even littler sister, take his nest to me. I give them each a reassuring smile and squeeze Peter's hand, and him Esther's, the contact helping to calm all of us down. Twice a year the government goes to all the Homes in the country and Takes at least one child, sometimes more. They take the most physically perfect specimen they can find, boy or girl, it doesn't matter, so long as they fit the requirements. I had done what I could to protect myself and my siblings after our parents had died. My brother is safe, on the outside he seems the ideal candidate, but the secret to his safety is inside his very veins. See, he has a blood disorder, so they couldn't, let me rephrase that, wouldn't use him. Esther is a little darling, kind of scrawny looking, but that's normal for a child her age.

Her security is glaringly visible.  We had visited the lab our parents worked at, it was on that day our lives changed forever. We had been there a little while when it happened, the accident. Our parents had been working with a new, dangerous substance called simply the Unknown. It is an extremely dangerous chemical that can kill anything living, and it's extremely unstable. While we were there, it reacted, put simply, it exploded. Our parents pushed us behind the shield before it got to us, but they didn't make it in time, they were covered in the chemical, they didn't have a chance. A small amount got onto Esther's foot, though. I saw the cleaning kit that would help when a small amount would get onto the scientists' skin, it would work with Esther's issue. But, I knew where we were going, and, when we went, we had a chance of being taken. So, I did what I had to do, I let the chemical set in.

By the time the Medics got there, it was to late, the chemical was starting to soak through her skin and muscles to her veins, where it would spread to the rest of her body. As of then, it had traveled halfway to her knee. To save her, they had to cut off her leg at the knee, it was the only way. It hurts even now to think about it, to think about how I could have spared her the pain, the feeling of incompleteness, the odd looks from the adults and especially the other children, but now, she'll always be safe, and that's all that really matters. I, on the other hand, have nothing wrong with me, nothing! I'm in good health,no diseases or missing limbs, nothing. I have a rare blood type, practically 20/20 vision, and an amazing immune system, so, I had to make something up: I'm mute

I have not spoken to anyone other than Peter and Esther for the past five years, and even then, only sparingly. My feigned muteness has kept me safe thus far, but every year, they look at me and my records a little bit longer, a little more seriously. I hear the door open and put my head down, trying to blend in. The door shuts and I hear the heavy tread of a man, a woman's lighter, quicker steps, and the clicking of the Matron's heels as she leads them to the middle of the room. There, they stop. "Jason Aron." a little boy known for making trouble steps forward and scurries to stand before them. They spend a little while on him, examining both him and his records, then send him back to the line."Bethany Averette." a little girl, really sweet, yet small and frail, calmly goes up to them and stands quietly, knees shaking with fear. It continues in this manner for a while, until they finally get to us.

"Esther Davidson." she limps over to the officials, her crutch making a soft thud  where it hit the floor. They notice her leg, really, the lack of one, and send her back in a matter of moments. "Peter Davidson." He tenses up and I give his hand a squeeze, then let go and gently push him forward. He stands in front of them for a moment, then they send him back. As soon as he gets beside me, he takes my hand again "Sara Davidson." his hand tightens around mine and I smile softly, slipping my hand out of his. I walk up calmly and stand emotionlessly in front of them. they pour over my files for a while, then ask me a question "You're mute?" I make the sign for "yes" in sign language. They spend a little while longer looking me over, then send me back in line, where Peter immediately takes my hand again. I look out of the corner of my eye down the line at my best friend: Johnathan, but I just call him John. He catches my gaze and does an over-exaggerated yawn, then quickly signs "boring" to me. I hold back a laugh, allowing myself a flicker of a smile, signing back "you're impossible." he just smiles cheekily before putting on a serious look again and facing forward.

He had come here six moths ago, right after a child had been Taken. He's around my age, and rather sweet. He's one of the few people I can "talk" to in sign language and have a real conversation. They keep going down the line until they've examined every child and every record. "Children," the man booms "we have made our decision. This time, we have selected three of you." My eyes widen at the prospect, the soft murmurs and gasps of the other children following the announcement. I instinctively tighten my grip on Peter's hand. John and I simultaneously look at each other, disbelief written all over our faces, this almost never happens. I look back to the man as he begins to speak again. "Congratulations to:  Lydia Richardson," 

Lydia, a girl a year or two older than me, stands there in shock, then, her face goes white and she faints. "Johnathan Michaels," I feel my heart skip a beat as his name is called, but deep down I had known he'd be Taken. John keeps a strait face, nods slightly in acknowledgement and steps forward, seemingly unafraid. But, by the set of his jaw, the look in his eyes, and the barely perceptible hesitation in his stride, I can tell on the inside he's horrified. "and Sara Stevens." a girl a little down the line squeaks in horror, as I breath a sigh of relief, when they said Sara, I had gotten worried. I smile with relief down at Peter and Esther, who both smiled back, the same thing had probably crossed their mind as well. The woman murmurs something to the man, who nods, then turns back to us "I'm sorry, I seem to have made an error. Our three Chosen are: Lydia Richardson, Johnathan Michaels," my breath catches in my throat, a cold pit of dread, icy and cruel, settles in my stomach, my heart in my throat as he announces: "and Sara Davidson."

Author's Note

Please ask me any questions you have! It can be about anything: characters, what some of the capitalized terms like Home mean in this "world", how 'ya do'n...anything. I'd love for you to look at it first as a story to enjoy, then look at it as critically as possible. I love it when people tear my writing mercilessly apart and tell me exactly what they think. So, be honest, if you don't like it, tell me, and tell me why, that way, I can see it from another view. Thank you and hope you enjoy!
Love,
CreativeCookie

Reviews

[Playing with Demons]

This is very interesting! I like how Sara signs . I feel bad for her siblings though their parents died and so their only eldest immediate relative is Sara and she doesn't even talk to them, I understand why she does it though so she can stay with them and all.
When talking about John you typed, "He had come here six moths ago" ;)
I loved this chapter and will continue to read. The ending was very well written!
Cheerio!!

[Criss ;)]

I liked this chapter, i even got some new words from this write those i didn't know (frankly said.. :)) Nice write. I'm too even working on a book, i've written yet only three 3-4 chapters... but i'm keep trying to complete my that book as soon as possible to me. I enjoyed this story/chapter, yeh, i'd too many questions to ask in first reading but then i decided to read read this chapter again and i got it, got your all characters played good role in the chap...

It's a good write well, i really don't know about your country's governmental rules what they do .. i meant for this line... "government goes to all the Homes in the country and Takes at least one child, sometimes more"......
But i got two questions here, i'm know i think these're my stupid questions that i''m gonna ask but... lol i want to clear my doubts .... so

My first question is...
Ist Were they (the kids) Orphans in your this chapter ?
My second question is...
IInd why the gov. chose every year or in two years to take ?

[CreativeCookie]

Question One: Yes, that's what the homes are for, to take in kids whose parents are dead, or didn't want them.
Question Two: It's every six months, and you'll see why later on.

[Criss ;)]

Ok :)
Thank you much for taking your time replying in a meantime :) I enjoyed reading this chapter. Hope you're gonna post some more nice chapters :)
All the best :)

[Silent Wolf]

I need more. That's all I can say. Just keep going with this and yep. :) But it sounds like the Hunger Games almost. I didn't even notice the grammar except once. (Second time that's happened lol) Message me when you add more please!

[CreativeCookie]

Trust me, it's not the Hunger Games. In fact, fighting in any form is punishable, even to the point of death.

[Silent Wolf]

Lol okay. :) And that still sounds familiar. ;) Lol.

[♥ Kinnixk]

I really like the story and where it's going and I really want to read more. What's going to happen to Sara now and why are the kids so afraid of being Taken?
I saw a few grammatical errors which can be easily fixed.

[CreativeCookie]

Well, I can't answer your first question, it would spoil the story! As for your second question: no one who's been Taken has ever returned. They have no idea where they'll be taken, or if they'll even survive. For Sara, this is especially horrifying, she'll never see Peter or Esther again.