Chapter 1

The changes begin.

 

 

The sun is shining.  That’s a good sign, or at least I hope it is.  I hope today nothing happens, nothing goes terribly wrong.  Sitting up in bed, I pause to look around the room.  The room my father decided was the safest place in the house to keep me, in the far corner of the basement.  The room farthest from my parent’s room.  The room my mother decorated to look like the room of the regular happy teen she wishes I was.  The room I am supposed to call mine, when really there’s hardly a thing in here that I chose, hardly a thing that I would consider truly mine. 

            I slowly swing my legs over the side of the queen sized mattress, kicking off the plush white and cream colored comforter.  Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I set that stupid comforter on fire, but I squash that though almost instantly.  I get up, avoiding the temptation of setting the bed ablaze. 

            Walking over to the closet, I quickly change into a pair of my favorite jeans and my uncle’s old BYU hoodie.  I glance at the clock on the wall as I walk out of my room and instantly regret it.  I’m going to be late for school, so I rush up the stairs and into the kitchen.  Both of my parents look up, startled, from their morning coffee as I skid to a halt.

            “Good morning, Callidora”, my mother speaks, a smile plastered to her face.

            “Morning.  I’m off to school”, I say, part of our awkward morning ritual. “Well, I’ll see you guys later.”  I dash out the back door and walk around the side of the house, through the back gate, and over to my car.

            I swing into the drivers seat of my beloved 4runner, enjoying the shine of the freshly washed black exterior.  It may be old, but it runs great for being a ’94.  It was originally my aunt’s, passed on to me for my sixteenth birthday.  When she gave it to me, she offered to have it dropped back to its original height, but I liked the fact that it was lifted.  It makes me feel tall, strong even, plus the look on a Prius driver’s face when I pull near them is always priceless.

            As I pull back out of the long driveway, I pause to look at the house.  The house my parents bought before I was born, and has been their “project” for as long as I can remember.  It’s a nice house, big, and sits back on over an acre of lightly wooded land.  From the outside it looks like a beautiful home, for a beautiful, happy family living a beautiful happy life.  Only I know better.  On the inside, only an idiot could not see past the pretty walls, stylish furniture and fake smiles.  On the inside lives my family, and we are neither beautiful nor happy. 

            As I drive the mile and a half to school, I think.  Hopefully George and Tish will be waiting for me, even though we might all be a little late.  They usually do wait for me, especially when I’m running late like today.  They help make sure I stay calm, keep me from losing control. 

            I pull into the crowded student parking lot, and judging by the hoards of students still hanging around, the bell hasn’t rung yet.  That’s good; I didn’t shatter the speed limit for nothing.

            Finding a decent spot in the shade of an old elm tree, I park and as soon as I grip the handle on my door to get out, the door is yanked open and right out of my hand.  Tish glares ferociously at me, while George fights a smile.  This particular combination of expressions from these particular faces usually means one of two things.  Either Tish is angry at me for a reason only she could come up with, or I have something seriously wrong with my hair.  Either way, Tish is upset. 

            “What the hell, Cal?” Tish nearly shrieks.  George grins outright now.

            “Is it my hair?” I ask, hopeful it’s that easy.  I sigh when Tish’s expression gets darker.

            “You act like you don’t know!  George, you see this? She acts like she doesn’t know!” Tish is pissed, and George’s smile turns to a mock somber expression as she turns on him.

            “Tish, what is the problem?” I sigh, resigned to her wrath.

            “I called you three times this morning!  THREE TIMES!” She’s getting shouty now, and a group of kids a few cars over turn to stare at the scene she is making.

            “Tish, I’m sorry, I woke up late, and I didn’t even have a chance to check my phone.  I’m sorry, but what’s the big deal this morning?”

            “Oh, well Brian Miller says we made out last weekend, which is definitely not true, and Casey is being an a*****e about it.”  She pouts, her anger at my missing her calls fading.  Drama with her boyfriend of the month, Casey, is not new, and neither is Brian Miller being a sleaze.

            “I told her no one really believes it, but then she thinks I’m just sayin’ that.”  George pipes in, a smile in his deep voice.

            “Well then tell people he’s a terrible kisser.  Turn it back on him.”  I turn to retrieve my bag from the passenger side of my car as Tish exclaims to George.  By the time I turn back around with bag in hand, Tish is already off at a trot to spread the news. 

            “Well there’s one problem solved.  Now to get you class before Ms. Felix can get into a bad mood.” George smiles and offers his arm with a flourish. 

            “Why thank you, kind sir.” I say as I slip my arm through his, and off we set through the parking lot.

            While I’ve never had a problem with Ms. Felix, the math teacher, I have seen how difficult she makes the lives of those students who displease her.  Luckily, math is my favorite subject, and something I excel at, so I mostly stay on her good side.  Walking through the halls, George and I try to avoid running into too many people, especially when you never know what the person you run into will do. 

            While George may be a werewolf, I am a mere human, so I don’t stand a great chance in fight with most of the kids here.  Sometimes I wish I lived in a city that had a higher human population, but sadly I live in Olympia, where humans are outnumbered three to one.  Plus most of the supers bite, and that’s something I always try to avoid, especially when said bite could come from a Fae. 

            I narrowly avoid a werecat, but I forget about the tail until I hear a yowl and suddenly the fluffy brown cat shifts back into a teenage boy.  Kent, I think his name is Kent.

            “Sorry, I didn’t see your tail”, I mumble, and I can feel my face go red. 

            “Cal, how silly of you!  Sorry Kurt, I’ll make sure she learns her lesson!” George speaks to Kurt, whose name is not Kent as I thought, and he whisks my away from the glaring boy. 

            “Jesus, Cal, you scared me.  But lucky that was just Kurt’s tail, not someone else’s.  He’s an idiot for being shifted in the hallway like that, it’s so crowded, it’s no wonder he got stepped on.”  George looks a little flustered from the incident too, but he smiles down at me reassuringly.  I smile hesitantly back.  The Weres here are always shifting back and forth throughout the day, but most avoid being shifted in the crowded hallways.  There are Vamps like Ian Nesbit who like to take a bite of any Weres that get in his way, and Pixies like Vladimir who will go out of their way to step on an unwatched tail. 

            Happily, George and I make it math with no more incidents, and we plop into our seats just as the final bell rings. 

            After math, George walks me to Chemistry, where he leaves me and heads across the hall to Ethics and Morality.  I hate chemistry, but pay close attention because Mr. Fletcher teaches at a breakneck speed.  I swear he talks so fast sometimes he’s not even speaking English anymore.  That’s one of the downsides to having an Elf teach science, I suppose; they don’t account for humans and Weres being slower. 

            It isn’t until lunch time that I see Tish again.  After getting my food, I see Tish at our usual table, sitting cuddled up with Casey.  George joins us shortly after I sit down, and we share a look of disgust as Tish and Casey start making out.  The loud clatter of tray being dropped next to mine makes me turn to look up at Nick.  Nick is probably my favorite vampire ever.  He says a lot of things I wish I could without killing people.  Plus, he’s the only one who still calls me Calli.

            “So, Calli, I hear you stepped on a tail today and the school didn’t collapse around our ears.  That’s too bad, too, because I have a test in Anatomy this afternoon.  Think you could help a guy out and let the ground shake, just for a second, I swear,” Nick half pleads, but I know he doesn’t mean it.

            See, the thing is, I’m not human, not really anyways.  I do things, or more accurately, things happen that I have no control of.  Whenever I feel anything too strongly, like get upset, sad, angry, or even just really happy or excited, things happen.  Like once, when a kid in elementary school told me I was a loser, I started crying and an earthquake leveled the whole school.  Or once when my uncle Tim gave me a new iPod for my birthday, I got so excited that I caused a tornado.  Or like the time I got pissed off at a guy who cut in front of me in line at Starbucks that I accidentally burned down half the block. 

            I also have to be really careful what I say and even think.  If I talk about something happening, it happens.  Like once when I was talking to my dad about the flash floods in California, I caused one in the river that ran behind our house and it flooded almost 12 acres of land.  Then once all I did was think about the properties and laws of electricity for a homework assignment and a huge thunderstorm broke out and lightning struck almost every tree on our property.

            I suddenly realize I’m being spoken to. 

            “What was that?”  I ask, hoping my friends will just ignore my momentary lapse in the conversation.

            “I just asked if you heard the announcement from the Counsel”, Nick watches me carefully, waiting for a response.

            “Nope, haven’t heard it.  Why, what is it?”

            “The Counsel is coming to town in two weeks, and they’ll be staying in the city for a year’s rotation.  That’s interesting, right?  The Counsel hasn’t been to Washington in almost 40 years.”  George answers me before Nick has a chance to, and Nick scowls while George just smiles sweetly back.

            “That is interesting, but they convene in a different state every year, so it’s not like they weren’t due to come to Washington sometime soon.”  I speak carefully, aware of Casey staring right at me.

            Tish says something, but I’ve stopped paying attention.  The Counsel is essentially the ultimate governing power, and has been for decades.  It’s made up of one representative of each race.  This means that of the 3 Classes, the Civilian Class only has one representative, because humans are the only members of our Class.  The Warrior Class on the other hand, has three representatives; one Fae, one Were, and one Ghoul.  Currently, the Fae representative is an Elf, but come the next election, it could be a Pixie, another elf, or a Fairy.  The were’s representative is a werejaguar, but it could any species.  The Ghouls have a Djinn as their representative now, but it could be a vampire or a siren too.   Then there’s the Keeper Class, and the Lillends and Nix’ each have a representative as well.  The seventh member of the Counsel is the Chancellor.  Nobody really knows who, or what, he is. 

            Looking around the cafeteria now, it isn’t hard to tell who belongs to what group.  There are the weres over by the windows, several of whom are shifted into various animals.  The elves sit in one corner and all seem to be studying, with few words being spoken.  The fairies are all gossiping and chatting in the center of the room, and some of them float above the tables to better hear the latest gossip.  Pixies of course all go to run outside the minute they are allowed to, and seem to be playing a game of some sort in the courtyard, complete with biting and kicking. 

            The Djinn population is small here, so there are only a few of them hanging around, but their green skin gives them away.  Even as I watch, they seem to be teasing one because he turns bright red, and I mean all of him, so he’s angry.  But he soon settles and I see a group of sirens come in through one of the side doors.  Also known as succubus, the sirens are all pretty much w****s.  The guys and girls all sleep around like crazy, but they are all so good looking, I understand why others have trouble turning them down.  I doubt even I could say no if one of the hotties come on to me. Luckily I don’t have that problem.

            I’m suddenly drawn back to my friends when I notice both of the boys on either side of me have gone rigid.  Looking up, I see why.

            “Hey Callidora, daydreaming about me?”  The guy now leaning across our table asks me.  He is tall, well built and extremely handsome with his dark hair and blue eyes, even his blue tinged skin looks good on him.

            “Hello, Malum.  Can I help you with something?”  I ask, settling a blank expression on my face.

            “Oh, I can think of several ways you could help me out”, Malum says, and the way he says it makes it clear what he means.  George growls rather loudly and I see Nick bear his fangs out of the corner of my eye.  Knowing they’re there and they have my back gives me confidence, though I still choose my words with care.

            “You’re being rude, and I really don’t have the time or energy to deal with you right now.  Please just leave.”  I keep calm, but my voice is firm.

            “Best leave before it gets ugly, Malum”, George says.

            Nick adds, “It would be so sad if Nurse Helix had to deal with a dead pixie today.”  Malum looks at the guys defending me, assessing them, his eyes going cold.  Then he looks back at me, leans in so his face is close to mine, and grins.  Next comes what I don’t expect. 

            I realize what he plans just a half second before he grabs me and throws me across his shoulder.  He stands, and in the same instant Nick and George both dive over the table, headed for Malum as he starts carrying me away.

            Suddenly I feel the release of tension in my abdomen, and he goes rigid, and then screams.  Next thing I know I’m crashing to the floor on top of Malum as his body convulses, and as his back arches I’m pulled roughly away and against another warm body as I force the tension back into place.  George is leaning over Malum’s now still body, checking to make sure he’s alive, I think.  I half hope he’s dead, but then that’d mean I just committed murder, so maybe not.  I look up at Nick, who is still holding me tightly against him.

            “You’re warm”, the words are out of my mouth before I can stop them.  Nick smiles tightly down at me.

            “Yeah, well.”  Nick doesn’t respond beyond that, but does say, “God, I hate pixies.  I always forget just how damn fast they can be.”

            I chuckle, just a little, but it’s enough to make Nicks eyes soften to a deep burgundy, no longer the bright scarlet they were a moment ago. 

            Nurse Helix arrives, and she carts Malum off to the infirmary.  The whole cafeteria buzzes with what just happened, but no one seems to think I had anything to do with it.  Seizure, most are saying.  At times like this I am glad only Tish, George, and Nick know what I make happen.  I’m glad I was able to regain control quickly enough that I didn’t hurt Nick, but I feel like I always do after I use my power.  I feel a little sick, a knot forming in the pit of my stomach, and my head pounds with the effort it always takes to regain control.  But I also ache, I miss it, miss that release of the tension, ache to be able to relax, to not have to constantly keep everything bound up, to keep everything inside.

            I notice then that Tish and George are right there with me now, both their faces consumed with worry and nervousness.  George’s eyes flick up and harden, and I realize Nick still has both his arms wrapped tightly around me.  I feel my face heat as I take half a step away from Nick, away from his warmth and strength, away from the feeling of safety his arms give me. 

            “What the hell!”  Tish asks, her worry mixing with outrage, and continues, “Why the crap would he just pick you up like that?  And in front of George and Nick no less!  I never thought he’d actually have the balls to touch you, much less throw you over his shoulder caveman style!” 

            “I mean, everybody knows he’s got a thing for you, Cal,” Casey speaks, “but so do half the guys at this school.  What made him think he’d get away with that crap?”

            “Malum’s just an a*****e, and a pixie, with an ego and that super sized combo gives him the idea that he can take anything he wants, whenever he wants.”  Nick’s voice goes into something resembling a growl, and I notice he still has his fangs out.  George notices too.

            “First, put your damn fangs away, and second, I think we can all agree Malum’s a pixie a*****e.”

            “God, Cal, are you ok?  You look pale” Tish steps closer, examining my face.

            “I’m fine; can we just talk about something else?”  It’s getting hard to control my temper, I can feel the anger and outrage, and I can feel it like boiling water rolling over my skin.  I close my eyes, focus on something else, focus on anything else. 

            “Bunny!”  Tish half screams, seeing my struggle to keep a handle on this, on myself.  I think she just shouted the first thing to pop into her head.

            “Good one, Tish.  Bunnies are cute and fluffy.  They twitch their noses, and, um,” George looks around, looks for help to keep the conversation going.  A conversation about bunnies is going to be a tough one to keep going for long.

            “Yeah, and, uh, they eat carrots and stuff.  Oh!  And they hop around and look demented when they run” Nick smiles, almost chuckling a little, like the thought of bunnies and their demented running is just too funny to contain.  I feel the heat of my anger fading, but I think I’ll let them keep going.  See how long they can keep talking about rabbits. 

            “My sister had a pet rabbit for a while, and it used to chase the dog around.”   Casey adds, looking at us all kind of like we might be little crazy, but he’s rolling with it.

            “Cute!  What happened to it though?”  Tish looks confused, like why would anyone not have a rabbit forever.

            “Oh, well, the dog ended up eating it, so,” Casey looks a little awkward now, seeing Tish’s face fall to something sad.  But apparently neither George nor Nick find this part sad at all.  They both sputter with laughter, faces going red as they bust up.

            “Was it neutered?  Is that why is took it so long eat the stupid rabbit?”  George says wiping away tears, “I’m just picturing this poor dog being terrorized by a little rabbit and not having any balls to know he could just get rid of it!”  Nick laughs more at this too.

            “Speaking of being neutered, are both of you guys?  Because the way I see it, you let Cal get dragged of by another guy, a pixie no less!  And you were both sitting right there by her when it happened.”  Tish does not hold back, wow, and she doesn’t look sorry either.  She looks at them with disgust, like talking bad about a bunny is a major sin.

            Both George and Nick stop laughing instantly.  George looks pissed, his eyes going wolf, while Nick looks more ashamed, like he blames himself the whole episode with Malum. 

            “Look, its cool, everything is cool.  George and Nick are both manly men, with all necessary their manly bits intact.”  I jump in half laughing, mostly to keep George from going off, but also so Nick doesn’t have to feel like he’s to blame.  George’s face grows even darker, his cheeks bright red.

            “I am NOT neutered and I do not need a girl defending me either!”  George glares at Tish, then at me, and then stomps off to who knows where.

            “Jeez, sorry he snipped at you, Cal, but really, there’s no reason for him to throw a tantrum.  Whatever, he can be a child if wants.”  Tish points her nose a little higher, and actually makes a “humph” noise.  I raise my eyebrows a little at her and Nick chuckles.

            “Babes, you do get why he’s pissed, though, right?”  Casey askes, looking a little concerned.  “You just said he has no balls, couldn’t even handle a pixie, and let Cal get dragged off.  You can’t say stuff like that to a guy.  Plus, you know he likes Cal and you just totally emasculated him in front of her.  And then she had to defend him.  He has a right to be pissed.”

            Tish looks a little startled, probably because she hadn’t thought about from a guy’s perspective, and she blushes, murmuring, “I didn’t think about that.”

            “Wait, I have two questions, one, do you guys seriously call each other ‘babes’?  And two, why does it matter she said that stuff in front of me and I defended him?  I just said he was a manly man, how come I get in trouble?”  I don’t get it, Tish said she wasn’t a man, and he was pissed, but when I said he was he got even angrier.  It made no sense. 

            “Cal, you were patronizing.  You sounded like his mom telling him he was big boy.  It just made him more embarrassed.  He doesn’t want you to be like that with him.”  Casey was talking to me like I’m slow or something.  But he was implying George had more than friendly feelings, which I know he definitely does not.

            “Whatever, we have class in like two minutes and we are going to be late for gym.  You know how Coach Karr gets.”  Tish says as she herds our small group out of the cafeteria and down the hall.

            As soon as we reach the gym, Tish and I head into the girls locker room to change.  Tish chats as we get dressed, but I don’t follow what she says.  I rarely do in the locker room though, and she knows it.  She pretty much just always babbles about boys, or clothes, or whatever other gossip she feels like that day.  Having changed into my gym shorts and uniform t-shirt, I pull my hair up into a ponytail.  The chocolate waves fall down past my shoulders, it’s getting long.  Tish talked me into growing it out this year, but I’m beginning to want it cut.  I normally keep it short, just brushing my shoulders, and just long enough to put in a small ponytail. 

            Tish calls me over to do her requisite pre-workout check.  I look her over and give her the thumbs up.  She starts scrutinizing me; going over every inch of me, and making me turn, too.

            “God, I’d kill for your body.  Like seriously, where’s a demon I can make that deal with?”  Tish smiles at me, sighing wistfully.  Though truthfully, I don’t think she has anything to complain about.  She is super slender, with long, platinum blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and a bone structure models would die for.  I mean, I like my body fine, but I don’t have her model good looks.

            “Tish, you look hot, as always.  Don’t forget, models would envy you.”  I say, smiling.  I always tell her this, but she never seems to believe me though.

            “Maybe,” she says doubtfully, “but I don’t have b***s or an a*s like you do.  I don’t get why you can’t believe how drop dead hot you are.”  She gestures to the afore-mentioned body parts, trying to make her point.  This, too, happens a lot.  But again, I don’t see it.  I like my body and all, but I’m not standout beautiful like Tish.

            We walk out into the main part of the gym together, and wait for Coach Karr to tell us what we’ll be doing today.  Coach Karr is a big woman, built tall and broad, sun-weathered skin and blonde hair that’s streaked with gray.  She has crow’s-feet around her eyes, laughing wrinkles, though I’ve never even seen her crack her smile here at school.  Here at school, she yells, she glares, and she scolds.  All very typical coach like things to do. 

            “Today,” her voice booms out, “we will be playing soccer.”

            Students cheer, mostly the supers and guys.  We human girls moan a little.  Playing soccer with were creatures, pixies, and other supernatural beings is not nearly as fun as it might sound.  In fact, sometimes I wonder how it’s even legal.  Coach Karr on the other hand, doesn’t seem to share my qualms with the game, and leads us all out onto the back soccer fields.  She quickly sets us into teams of six, and brings out the balls.  There are three soccer fields, but only five teams, so the teams rotate each game, with one team always out doing stretches and other exercises. 

            My team consists of myself, two were boys, an elf boy, a fairy boy, and djinn girl.  Being the only two girls, the Djinn and I stand together.  I don’t really know her that well, but I think her name is Megan.  Our team starts off against Tish’s team, which has Casey on it as well.  I notice two vamps, a pixie, and one of the siren boys. 

            As the game starts, I hang back as the goalie.  Hopefully my team plays well enough that I won’t have to do much.  Sadly, this is not the case.  It doesn’t take long for the other team to come barreling down the field towards me, one of the vamp guys leading the charge.  I try to mentally prepare myself, and as the ball gets closer, I try to pay attention, try to see where they will aim it. 

            The vamp passes it to the siren boy, who pauses to give me a dazzling smile, but I ignore it.  I focus on the ball instead, and just manage to catch it as it’s kicked to the left side.  My team cheers, and I toss the ball back out.  After that though, the game doesn’t last much longer.

            The rest of gym class passes in a haze of flying balls and shouts from Coach.  Before I know it, we’re all racing back to the locker rooms, everyone equally eager for a quick rinse off in the showers and changing back into our regular clothes.

            As I’m changing, Tish gushes about Casey.  Did I see how he handled the ball?  Did I see how fast he was?  How coordinated?  I can’t help but wonder how much longer the gushy, puppy-love phase of this romance will last.  Then it will be into the hot and heavy phase, with her constantly asking me if I think he is “the one”, or if I think they should take it to the next level, yada yada.  Then comes the arguing, and finally the break up, with the whole process usually lasting about a month, maybe two.  So far, Tish has yet to find someone to make it past two months with.  Well, besides Jim Kenner in 6^th grade, but they only lasted the whole school year because Jim didn’t know they were really dating. 

            After gym I have Fae History, and it’s a class I have with Nick, so it’s always fun.  Nick is always making snide comments, sarcastic remarks, or outright jokes in the class, so I am never bored.  But even though Nick doesn’t like pixies or really any of the Fae, and is always talking during class, he keeps up a great grade.  Mr. Ferrars lets Nick get away with talking to me so much almost solely based on the fact that Nick and I both keep almost perfect A’s, only a little bit of it has to do with Nick being charming.

            I settle into my seat shortly before Nick, who smiles shyly at me as I do.

            “Sorry about earlier.  Really, the whole thing, I …”

            “You have nothing to be sorry about”, I say, cutting him off.  I place my hand gently on his arm and look to make sure he knows I mean it.  Mr. Ferrars starts talking though, and we don’t talk any more about it. 

            Throughout class, I’m aware of Nick staring at me, but every time I look back at him, he looks away.  What is his issue? 

            I continue taking notes on the original formation of the Class System.  It started out as a simple way to divide the Races, but keep them all equal so as to reduce conflicts. Long story short, wars still broke out between the different groups, until the formation of the Counsel.  For the last 80 years, the Counsel has resolved all major conflicts between the Races.  The Counsel intervened to prevent any violence, and the seven representatives all voted on a resolution.  That’s how all big issues were solved these days, the Counsel held a court session for the parties involved. 

            The Counsel also convened to decide the course action that should be taken when a Gifted was found.  Gifted’s are people who are born with an additional power, or ability.  The Gifted’s are always supers though; I don’t think there has been a Gifted human for over a hundred years.  It used to be that only humans could be Gifted, but that all changed after the Rising.  Now, anyways, any super, (doesn’t matter what Race,) who might be Gifted is sent to the Counsel.  Most of the time the Gifted are already in control of their extra ability, so they are just sent back home to keep living their life.  But it does sometimes happen that a Gifted isn’t in control, and in cases like that, an Academy is formed to help train the Gifted to harness their power.

            Whenever an Academy is formed, each representative chooses two people from their Race who exemplifies their species.  This means that there are two humans, two Fae, two Weres, two Ghouls, two Lillends, and two Nix, who all gather at a location of the Counsel’s choosing to train the new Gifted.  The Chancellor also chooses two individuals to join the Academy, but no one knows where he chooses them from.  

            Mr. Ferrars starts to explain that in the last 20 years, there has been a near constant stream of new Gifteds who can’t control their powers.  Apparently, the Gifteds are getting stronger, and each new one is stronger than the last.  This means that the Academy has taken up a permanent location, and has all its own facilities.  Its somewhere in southern Colorado, but no one outside the Counsel, their chosen teachers, and the Gifteds are allowed to know its exact location.

            This is all news to me, and as I continue writing up my notes, I notice Nick staring at me again.  I look over at him and glare a little.  I’ve had just about enough of the weird-creepy staring game.  Nick just lifts one eyebrow in response and turns back to his notes.  I sigh, resigned to have to wait for class to end before I can bug him about it. 

            After that class drags by slowly, with Mr. Ferrars handing out a quick assignment that if we don’t finish today becomes homework for tonight.  Class ends just as I’m finishing up the last question, and when Nick stands and I follow him out of the room.

            “So what was with the staring?”

            “I was just thinking about the Gifteds”, Nick says slowly, like he’s worried I might bite him.

            “Yeah, what about them?” I ask, not seeing what this has to do with the staring.

            “Ever thought you might be one?”  Nick looks like he’s holding back something.

            “No.  I have not.  I’m human, in case you’ve forgotten, so its more likely there’s an old Djinn my parents pissed off that’s been doing this to me to get back at them.”  This isn’t the first time one of my friends has asked this sort of thing.  Tish asked if I was a Gifted every few years, and every few years I told her the same thing.  No, I am not Gifted, I am human.  Plus, I’d even heard my parents talk once about an old genie boyfriend my mom cheated on.  If my parents were convinced in was a Djinn curse, then why shouldn’t I believe it too?

            “But have you ever even considered the possibility that it’s not a jinni?  That maybe it really is you?”  Nick won’t drop this, and it is definitely not something I am ok talking about.  Especially not after earlier today.

            “Nick, I swear to god, I am just a regular ol’ genie cursed human, ok?  Now let’s please stop talking about it.”

            “Calli,” Nick continues despite my plea, “I get that you’re scared, and you might not want to talk about it, but I’m serious.  I really do think you’re Gifted.”

            The truth is I have thought about.  I’ve thought about it a lot.  I definitely don’t feel like a regular human, what with the fact that I could kill a person without even trying.  But it doesn’t matter, not really.  It’s impossible.

            “Nick, please stop.  This isn’t something I can talk about right now, especially after what happened with Malum.”  I’ve had enough, this needs to end.  If he keeps on pressuring me like this, I’m going to lose control.  “Just drop it, Nick.”

            Nick studies me for a moment, but backs off.  “Fine, but we will talk about this later”, he adds, turning and walking away.

Reviews

[Meat of Dog]

The opening paragraph of this chapter was really good. For reference, I am not a fan of present tense writing and I kept reading because of that paragraph. It was eerily spot on after I had a conversation with a parent last night about child Vs. adult perspectives. They try to define this character based on their experience and or desires while leaving nothing for them to choose or identify with. Good wisdom. There's a lot more telling than showing here unfortunately after that point. Rather than having events mentioned to us, we want to experience them. If we're told a lot of things it's quite a bit to digest and then we are left expecting to see them. If we don't, then it does nothing for character development.

What this chapter is needing that it's missing is a plot (even if it's a small one). I am all for interpersonal drama. In fact, that's my favorite genre. But without some sort of conflict to follow it reads like voyeurism. There's plenty of interpersonal conflict (is George into Calli? Does Nick want her? Are they going to fight over it? Is Malum going to come after her again? The first chapter did have a good cliffhanger, which is pretty important. You want to end all chapters in cliffhangers (except maybe the very last one, that's up to you). You've got an interesting start. With a few tweaks I think it has good potential.

Grammatical edits:

~“but I squash that though almost instantly.” Thought.
~“s a werejaguar, but it could any species.” Could be
~ Casey askes, looking a little concerned” Asks.
~”no matter what Race” You don't need to capitalize 'race'.

Opinion:

~The pace is a little slow. There's a lot of exposition right at the beginning of this story. I felt like it could have been broken up and dispersed a bit. On the flip side there were areas that could have used more and we didn't really get it. You should go a bit more into George being a werewolf. It feels like it just kind of comes out of nowhere like 'Oh yeah, by the way' when something like that could/ would be a big deal. I guess what I mean is I can tell from reading that this is a fantasy world but it's more fun to be slowly and a little more immersively introduced to a human/ fantasy hybrid kind of story.

~Another thing on the fantasy note: we all know what these creatures are (werewolves, vampires, ext) but you should go into more detail describing them and making them your own. It seems like leaving it open ended would leave us readers more room to imagine them but (at least in my case) the opposite actually happens. My brain ends up clinging to stereotypes while I'm reading and stops the characters from having a sense of individuality.

~ I feel like Calli should be a lot harder and a LOT more traumatized. If every time you had a strong emotional reaction you caused a natural disaster which caused property damage and injured people it would be hard to think causally about it. I would literally be terrified to feel anything at all.

[C.M. Kocuh]

Thank you so much! This has definitely given me a lot to think about. I don't think there is a single thing you said that I can say is wrong or that I don't agree with. Thank you again, and I will post an updated draft ASAP.

[Meat of Dog]

No problem! I'm glad my review was helpful to you! If you want let me know when the new draft is up. It would be fun to read it again.

[C.M. Kocuh]

Thank you! I will