Up There

My thoughts in my mouth like backsplash from a vodka bottle
It burns down my throat like shattered glass and broken bones
And my bones creak, and my cheeks weep
But still I'm here, week to week
But I don't know how this is gunna work
Since I can't trust the girls in my head
But I still believe them up there
Up there, there's so much
So much hate and blood and gasoline fueled fires
Beside sunset smokes that feel like desires
I don't know how to stay in this room
But no atom inside me itches to go
But how am I supposed to keep playing this show
When my mind only sings of controlling me
And ruining everything I'm supposed to be
How can you mutter in so many words that you're sorry
When I can't even tell you that you hurt me