[untitled]

Detective Carmen has narrowed down her suspects to a handful of writing students. Will her plan to unmask the murder be successful? Or is she questioning the wrong kids?

 

Renee tapped her pencil on the wooden desk. The class room would be empty for another 5 minutes as the students got ready for their second period classes. That gave her plenty of time to think about her long, interrogating speech she was about to make in front of the 11^th grade writing class.

 

 She crossed her legs and leaned back in the desk chair. Interrogating a classroom full of students about a murder case was very new to her. Especially since there was nothing pretend about this case. This was real. And the students would only be expecting a private detective to talk to them about her job so they can no more about the subject of the papers they were to write as their assignment for the next few weeks. She would talk about her exciting job as a detective but since she wasn’t aloud to give out most of the information on the case she would surprise them by showing them an interesting piece of evidence. Evidence that could reveal the murderer, only by stirring up unexpected emotions in a writing student. Or, it may only prove that the murder was either not among the students, or the murder was better at this game of chase than she expected.

 

 She stood from her chair and paced in front of the first row of desks just as she would during class. She hoped to go on about her speech normally. Treat them like a bunch of kindergarteners who where learning about fire fighters and wearing red plastic hats. Then, she would take them by surprise… or at least one by surprise.

 

 She stared at the empty chairs that would be full in only a couple of minutes. The way the desks were distributed, reaching the door quickly would be a breeze from all points of the room. Should she have called for security backup just in case the suspect bolted from the room?

 

 She suddenly turned at hearing the door open. The writing teacher, Mrs. Andrea, walked in looking rather nervous about the whole ordeal. She carried a bag full of project supplies and a large book and seamed rushed as she hurriedly gave a quiet hello and dropped all of the items on the desk.

 

 “Would you mind if I waited in the hall after I introduce you?” She asked, pleadingly. “I’d rather them not know that I knew about this.”

 

 Renee smiled as she had had the same idea in mind. “Sure you can. I won’t need you. I’ll let you know when I’m finished”

 

 “Thank you so much.” Mrs. Andrea replied. “I’m pretty nervous about the whole thing. I’d never suspect one of my students of doing something like this. They are all such good kids. Times like these make me wonder why I don’t quit my job. It’s not safe anymore.”

 

Just then, a tall boy with blonde hair that hung down over his ears, took a seat in the back row. He was soon followed by another student, then another, until the entire class was ready to begin.

 

 Mrs. Andrea began by taking inventory of all the students. Renee frowned as Mrs. Andrea called out a name several times and checked him as being absent. She wouldn’t know for sure that the murder was in the classroom and heard the speech she was about to give.

 

 “We have a guest today, class. This is Detective Carmen from the Arlington police.” Mrs. Andrea explained, having calmed down considerably but still a little rushed. She is going to give you information you need for your assignment next week. So feel free to ask her as many questions as you need to.” And with that she left the room, closing the door behind her.

 

 Renee took a deep breath and cleared her throat. She looked at the class room of students. Some of them looked sharp and alert while others slumped back in their chairs lazily as if to say they had no intention of listening to a word she said.

 

 “As Mrs. Andrea already explained…” she began. “I am Detective Carmen from your local police department. She tells me that you are writing a paper about law enforcement job opportunities. So I’m going to start off by telling you a little bit about myself.” She sat on the edge of the desk and continued. “I grew up in New Jersey and had always wanted to be a biologist believe it or not. When I was 18 I moved to Texas to study at A&M University. After about a year of studying to be a biologist I met a man in the area who was a policeman and after hearing about his job I suddenly decided to change my major to law enforcement. I continued to study until I graduated from the university and started searching for a job. I finally found an opening for a detective here in Arlington and have been here for going on ten years.” 

 

 She stood from her perch at this point and began her pace “Being a detective is a very exciting job but requires more skill than you probably realize. It takes a special person to safely and successfully track down criminals and have enough evidence pointing toward them to bring them to trial. Some assignments are more difficult than others depending on the mind and skill of the criminal and the corporation from the witnesses…” She continued on about her job for over ten minutes. Some students asked common questions such as “How much is the pay?” And “Do you know all the officers and highway patrolmen by name?”   Nothing to raise an eyebrow about and she answered the questions in as much detail as possible so she could still be helping them with their assignment while gathering some evidence if there was any to gather.

 

 She glanced down at her watch. There wasn’t much time left. She had to act now.

 

 “I know that all of you know about the recent murder of one of your class mates.”

 

A few students shifted in their seats.

 

 “The autopsy report just came in yesterday. You will be the first to hear of it before it comes out in the papers tomorrow. As you probably know, Allen Hill’s body was found in an empty boat house on Lake Hungary last week on Thursday. This is how a case like this works. When someone calls 911 to report a crime, the emergency office sends out a dispatcher…” All the while she hinted that they had found a considerable amount of evidence that should point them directly to the suspect. She hoped to fool the suspect into thinking that they were very close to catching the criminal. She kept a close eye on the class room incase someone made a sudden move.

 

 As she talked she started digging through her green bag. Slowly, she pulled out a shiny object. It was a silver serving spoon.

 

She silently, walked around the room holding out this important piece of evidence. Finally, when the only reaction she got was a bunch of blank stares, she asked “Does anyone know what this is?”

 

Their only answer was an even more confused look on their faces. Someone was bluffing.

 

“It was found at the scene of the crime. It’s a very important piece of evidence.” She continued to hold it out, as if examining it for herself. Then, she held it out to a student in the front row. “Here, hold this. It’s fine, we’ve already searched it for finger prints.”

 

The young girl she handed it to, took it timidly and turned it over, then, passed it to the person next to her.

 

 It went all the way around the room, but still, the faces of the students remained the same. She had all of their interests now. Even the ones who had been slouching before were now literally at the edge of their seats.

 

She took it and slipped it back into her bag. She was getting a little agitated. Her plan hadn’t worked and probably because of the missing student. But if the murder was sitting in this room he now new that the police had narrowed their suspects down to one group of writing students and, hopefully, his fear will unmask him.

 

 All of you will need to come to the Arlington police station this evening for questioning on the murder case. If you do not show up we will be forced to count you as a suspect.

 

 Someone let out a gasp and all the students displayed shock and confusion on their faces.

 

 Now, all she had left to do was to narrow the suspects down from 17 to one. She only hoped she could do so before the murderer made another move.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

This is a very very rough draft of a chapter. It's the only chapter I have written so far and highlights the story's basic plot. I grew up homeschooling so I'm considering changing the scene from a high school class room to a Sunday school room at a church during a weekly group meeting since the setting is more familiar to me. I also think the change will give it a little bit more originality. Please include your thoughts on this in your comments.

Reviews

[Callie Anderson]

Thank you so much for your review! I'm not going to keep the chapter since somehow, the setting in the classroom isn't right. But this was one of those times where I had an idea and I had to write it out quickly before I forgot.

I don't want this to be about the students. But I don't want it to be about the detective either. There is another character that I have yet to create who's point of view I hope to write this from.

Also, you have to understand, writing this is going to be very difficult for me because the setting is not familiar. I grew up being self-taught, not in a high school. Which is why I considered changing the setting from a classroom to a group building in a Sunday school room.(= But now I can see where that could get... corny.

I only know these things about the story:

1. A high school student was murdered and evidence points toward a group of writing students (there is a little more detail to this but I don't want to spoil it)
2. The silver spoon ties the case together in more ways than one.(also more detail)
3. Since I obviously know very little about law enforcement, most of the story will be written in first person, from the view of a sort of... bystander.

~Callie

[J. Hampton]

Hi Callie

The concept definitely works....and the story is well put together.Something about the severity of the crime cries out for segue.
The way the detective dealt with the students and simpler language isn't saying highschool somehow .
Perhaps a few $15 words might work that out. Also .....minors would never be told they would have to come downtown witout their parents right there.No suggestions how to alter that.

I think this works as an idea....the Sunday school class would be too much.
Really can't wait to see....why writing students ?....and how the teacher was so quick to sit it out ?...and a spoon??? You have me curious ...write on !!!

Blessssssssss