The Beginning

 The black sky hovered above us launching sheets of pebble-sized raindrops into every inch of our car. I couldn't feel my legs and there was a horrible pain shooting through the right side of my head. I could feel the hot blood running down my face, as continuous as the rain.

 

'I'm going to die here' i thought. I was too afraid to glance towards my mother, who had been driving the white neon that night. I tried to reach for my cellphone to dial 911, but as i shifted my weight to reach for it, a void of blackness absorbed my eyes and my head began to spin. I tried so hard to reach it but the void was too strong. As it sucked me into it's emptiness i could hear distant sirens and a man screaming "If you can hear me I've called the police! Everything is going to be O.K.!" 

 

I awoke to the smell of hand sanitizer and sickness, once again blinded, only this time to a bright light. My ears were ringing and all i could imagine was that this is what dying feels like. i turned my head away as the light began to irritate my eyes and I could hear my blood flowing through my ears. 'Blood flow' I thought, 'so i coudn't be dead after all.' i tried to focus my eyes but all i saw was white. Everyone, everywhere, covered in white or light blue. I wanted to ask where my mom was but my body felt numb and i couldn't figure out how to place my tongue or shape my lips to speak. One nurse noticed my frantic eyes and told me everything would be O.K. in a voice that suggested i was a toddler. How does everyone seem to know what is going to turn out "O.K."?

 

I wondered if the continued loss of feeling in my legs was due to the accident or the anesthetics. I worried about how badly they'd been injured. Thinking about them gave me the chills but the only other thought i could summon were of my mother and i prayed for her life. I began to drift into sleep with terrifying thoughts of my mothers condition and fell into a nightmare. I was running toward her hospital bed but couldn't reach her. I could not scream or call out her name. All i could hear was the beeping of the machine that told me she was still alive. As i ran the beeping got faster and faster until it slurred together into a never-ending sound. I ran faster towards her to attempt my goodbye but could never reach her.

I woke up in a cold sweat on top of a hospital bed. My own heart racing on the machine i was hooked up to. Doctors were rushing around injecting me with medications meant to calm my heart. I tried to tell them that it was only a nightmare, but they did not hear my voice. I asked about my mom and how badly she was hurt but i could not get an answer. My arms no longer limp and numb reached out and grasped the wrist of a passing doctor. 

 

"Please, answer me," I begged, "please." Tears fell from my eyes and rolled down my cheeks as i gripped his wrist in silent prayer.

 

"There is more to be done to stabalize your own health at the moment. Tomorrow we may discuss your mother's condition." On that note he slid through my thin fingers and out of the door. I could hear his voice in the hallway asking someone something about vital signs and checking to see if she is lucid. 

 

When the nurse entered my room the other doctors had already cleared out and i was terrified of what she might ask. I tried to recall the accident but i could only remember the tremendous pain in my head. What was it we crashed into? I could not remember. 

 

The nurse told me she was just going to ask me a few easy questions. I was nervous enough to cry but refused to sob to another stranger. The questions began, and it was all so easy.

"what year is it?"

"2008"

"Good," she said as she scratched something down on her clip-board. "What is your name?"

"Kara Blouin"

"How old are you?"

"15"

"When is your birthday?"

"September 9th." She just kept on scribbling and check marking the hidden side of her little clip-board.

"Excellent, that's all i need you to answer for now," she said standing up and walking to the door, leaving me alone to this dreadful room.