Back-Seat Driver

Do you ever get that feeling,

That you're just watching your life,

It's streaming before your eyes,

It's simply passing you by.

 

And you have no ability to cry,

As you haven't got any control.

Soon enough you'll have to die,

Your mind has already grown old.

 

And you wish that you were told,

That life could be this way.

Before all of your days,

Began to slip away.

 

You can't do much now,

You're carried by the waves.

All you can do is watch,

Trying to ensure he behaves.

 

When you seize the reigns again,

You hope you won't let go.

If you do you'll disappear,

Become someone that none know.

 

And you'll be drifting there,

Floating and unconscious.

Incapable of enacting your will,

Unable to throw any punches.

 

Your back curls and it hunches,

It's under this weight that it crunches,

And it's starting to break out in punctures,

And you're pouring out of them in bunches.

 

You're sitting in the back seat,

Watching someone else as they drive.

And whenever they crash,

You're the one who remains alive. 

Reviews

[Stan Lee]

Nice poem Captain. Your poem has a clear theme throughout that is easy to relate to. Often we do feel as though we're like detached spectators who cant do anything about our own circumstances or the circumstances around us. Just one thing I would suggest would be; try not to switch between "I" and "You", as it breaks the rhythm a little. Sorry, I should have mentioned that before but I was kinda distracted as you could probably tell. :) Great write - Keep smiling!

[Captain Rilen]

Hmm yeah I see what you mean. I'll change it around and see how it reads, thanks Andronicus! You're always really helpful :)

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Hmm your poems are full of emotions, and they seem quite meaningful. I half and half kind of got the meaning to this poem.
Either I'm just dumb for not understanding the meaning properly, or tired, or your poems are great but complicated haha.
Your rhyme scheme in every poem is flawless though I must say and I love it.
Well written :)