Hope

My hope comes and goes

It always has

And I’m beginning to think it always will

It will never be stable

This hope for you

 

Do you know

How I feel?

How I have always felt?

 

Can you understand

Why I lay beside you in the dark

Hiding my face from your eyes?

They know me to well as

I tell you that I don’t feel for you anymore

 

Why do I lie to you?

Why can I not just mention the words?

The words that have been stuck in my head for years

Years of your comings and goings

 

Do you lie to me?

When you lay beside me

Wrapped in the sanctity of the darkness?

I hope you do.

I hope you are just as afraid as I am

Afraid to be honest.

 

But I know you aren’t.

It’s the only time you’ve told me the truth

When you said you don’t have feelings anymore

 

But I hope

 

I hope you love me

Just as much as

I love you.