~ Polly and Peggy ~

a simple short story or a prose poem, not quite sure what to classify it as.

Reviews

[emmajoy]

' It was a pleasant park surrounded by tall trees with - Scattered colourful flowering bushy shrubs - Everywhere - Which attracted butterflies, .. .. -

Such a joy to read, even if the ending was clever surprise, Carola. You caught me off guard, reading about that park, its surroundings so gently included.. a relaxing place, peaceful, colourful. Will come back to this again.. had me happily focussed for a while and that's a must for now. Thank you so much.

[Carola]

glad you liked it emmajoy.
i wrote it to show what people consider normal suburbia, that in the bird world, any park or suburban garden is still hostile & predatory, & needs constant vigilance from cats, dogs, birds of prey (& animal-unfriendly humans)
cheerio carola

[emmajoy]

Guess that applies to human beings too.. there's always an ugliness waiting to pounce. That said, i do love birds, don't know what i'd do without them here and there, especially this time of year.. 'flitting flirts', the lot of them!

Keep safe and well, Carola.

[Dave Brown]

Very entertaining and quite realistic
We have a bit of a park like atmosphere around our place, and alongside one livingroom window, in a large mock orange, a Robin (Roberta) was raising chicks.
One morning, as I looked out on the lawn, there was a Hawk standing on her dead body!
Not as fortunate as Polly or Peggy

[Carola]

i would say she was defending her chicks from the hawk.
o what did you do with the chicks --- hand raise them yourself; or find a bird wildlife carer through a wildlife organization & pass them on them; or leave just them where they were ?
because the hawk will be back for the chicks for sure.

[Dave Brown]

I was a few years ago and we made sure Daddy was still on the scene
We could see them clearly, basically lying almost against the glass and while he was away we fed some worms best as possible
They all made it but the old boy was pretty worn down
One of Nature's harsh realities

[Carola]

good on you david. outcomes like this aren't always happy

[Jacob Eapen Sam]

The reader is taken for a ride of the park with effortless ease. The end was definitely a surprise. The last 2 sentence could have been avoided for the reader to draw his own conclusion. This only a feedback. Am not an expert. I just felt so.

[Carola]

thanks for your feedback jacob.
the reader can draw his own conclusion by my last sentence, where i say 'HOPEFULLY' polly & peggy managed to escape, i don't confirm they do.
cheerio carola

[Samuel Dickens]

It's sad the serenity couldn't have continued, but the goshawk must have been hungry. Nature is such a joy to watch... until the feeding begins. Recently, my wife's little dogs have been bringing dead, baby birds into the house that they "acquired" somewhere in the back yard. How I wish the little fledglings could have darted away and saved themselves like Polly and Peggy. Thank you for this happy ending.

[Carola]

thanks for reading & commenting samuel.
i wrote that 'hopefully' peggy & polly got away, i left that up in the air.
we have goshawks around my place at certain times of the year because i feed the wild pigeons. they are super-fast & pigeons can't match their speed but they can out manouevre up to a point, being slower their turning radius is tighter. the goshawks higher speeds the turning much wider.

yes you're quite right about nature until feeding time, one of the reasons i don't like watching the david attenborough nature series it only seems to show animal mealtimes...hunting! it seems to be david's obsession.
cheerio carola

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

This is beautiful the ending a lovely pleasant surprise too
This is a great first chapter for a short story

[Carola]

hi julie, thanks for reading & commenting.
it never occurred to me that this writing could have a 2nd chapter. i'll have to think about that.
normally once i've finished a narrative poem i'm kind of done with this theme.

[Paul Bell]

Got me, thought in was two old biddies chatting in the park.
Then I thought some nutter had escaped from the asylum.
Sort of glad, Polly and Peggy escaped to natter another day.

[Carola]

hi paul, it was meant to catch readers out. 😀
ah! but polly & peggy Hopefully got away, i didn't say they did.
cheerio carola

[Paul Bell]

Oops, pigeon pie. lol

[zainul]

The goshawk failed to predate the lovely creatures.
They were alert and the Creator was kind to them.
But had there been a heartless hunter with goshawk in the park,
The innocent birds would surely be heinously slaughtered.
Dear Carola,you depicted a natural phenomenon of life of prey and predator where the innocent birds could escape.You depicted it very nicely.I am horrified by the partnership of evil creatures to destabilize the peace in the world. I am adding a link to support my point.
Thank you for taking time to enlighten people about a peculiar situation.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgL1x8ivEtY

[Chris]

a fancy full story told well... you DID draw me in ...willingly.