Everything

A rewrite from 1985

Everything

You were my wildflower dream. You were my wild dance and song, away from controlled life and wars I couldn’t win.I would of done everything for you.  You were my wild child who sang and talked of love and peace. I wanted to believe in your words.

Wildflower dreams are far away and today everything had become worthless. My last friend is near. I hold the Gin bottle tightly. Old gin kept me safe from your memory. Old friend gin. Always ready to cover-up my sadness and I drink the gin till the morning sun come to life.

I don’t know if I’m going crazy and damn demons keep coming for me. I go to the Monterey bay and pray for those gentle blue eyes and I wish to hear your sweet voice again.

I have become the dark Poet holding my old journal and a thousand stories about a angel who loved the sea, dancing nude on the Big Sur beach and loved to laugh. Today the ancient poet drank his gin and  photos of the heart dance in his head. He remembered perfect beauty sitting upon the rocks of Big Sur and the sweet woman told him.

“When you give-in or give-up all your real dreams. What is left? Johnnie, forget yesterday and live for today. Yesterday is gone and today is the opportunities to find peace in the land of promises that won’t break our heart.”

Old Word-man told the sea. Too late, too late. Wasted words and wasted love can’t be found when released. Free wildflowers are wild and free. They touch your life rarely and become wishes only. Today everything is my gin and the memory of perfect lady who loved me once.  Please kind and powerful sea. Tell my Beatrice I still love her.

John Castellenas/Coyote

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Author's Note

Just words re-written from 30 years ago.

Reviews

[sleepymountain]

I love this poem, it really hits home because it reminds me of me and my highschool sweetheart. I was extremely spontaneous, wild and intense he was gentle and intense in the most quiet way. He loved me with all he had, I really took it all for granted...he still loves me to this day. But I'll be getting married soon and so is he. Again, beautiful poem.

[Coyote Poetry]

Old memories do become sweeter with time and distance. Thank you for reading and the comment. I do appreciate.

[Rye]

Oh wow! such vivid imagery. I really enjoyed this. You write wonderful, great flow of words.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you for reading and the comment. I do appreciate.

[Valentine]

You seem to have lived in a land of dreams of writing from your youth. Funny how expressing ones thoughts seem so great in some...hard to do for others. Valentine

[Coyote Poetry]

All of us hold memories. Time make all memories less painful. Thank you dear friend for reading and the comment.

[Corset]

Beautiful like a desert rose, sad as the barren canyons, though you realize that flower is buck-a*s naked right? (warn a girl before hand would ya?) lol, seriously making light of a broken earthed poem, holes in the land, holes in the hearth, so much beauty in your memories.

[Coyote Poetry]

It is Big Sur, California. Support to be nude. Nude beach rules. Thank you Corset for reading and the comment.

[softlyfall]

In Portland it is perfectly legal to be nude downtown, as long as you do not touch yourself or anybody else.

[Coyote Poetry]

I went to Portland. Only folks with clothing. Must of been a cold day.

[softlyfall]

You missed the naked bicycle races? lol

[Coyote Poetry]

I did. I was station there in 1992-1994.

[Willard Wells]

Very nice write and great flow and imagery. In this line, " morning sun come to life.", I thought the one word should change to "comes".

And of course, to peak my interest, you included one of my favorite spot, Monterey. Thanks

[Coyote Poetry]

I lived for three years in Monterey. Most beautiful place I lived in. Thank you Willard for reading and the comment.

[A hare off]

A sadly beautiful and telling piece.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you my friend for reading and the comment.

[JayceeC]

Those we truly love haunt our hearts and minds infinitely. They are always there lurking in the background. If you could ever figure out how you could get to today without the steps of the past, let me know. Some loves are wild and only meant to touch us in the moment, but they leave their mark.

Technical: P2L1 had to has
P2L3 come to comes
I think it could stand some commas here and there to clarify understanding, but I also see the lack of them as part of your style. I always enjoy the peeks you give us into life and love.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Jaycee for reading and the comment.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this reminds me of a couple people...they were my dream, and now they are in my dreams, my memories...what is resounding in many of the words i write.

this is a perfect freefall of a love just tumbling out in poetic splendor...

j.

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree Jacob and thank you for reading.. A old re-write. When I was young and fearless.

[softlyfall]

The heart will break, then mend, then break. The sun goes down and comes back up. We are born, we die and then are born again. Mostly a strong thoughtful piece. A few errors (aka "would of" should be would have) You might consider rewriting for consistency of form...choose either the descriptive full sentences or the short partial sentences.
To be honest, I don't know when or why a paragraph ever got to be called a poem. That just loses so many chances for added impact or meaningful pause. Why did you write it this way?

[Coyote Poetry]

I don't know. Just drinking beer and reading my 30 years old journal. This journal I carried and read when I did poetry readings on the California coastline and when I was station in Texas from 1991-1996. The old poems feel like fiction now. I do appreciate the honest comment.

[softlyfall]

They should have a category for journal entries. There are some incredible philosophical biographies and memoirs...a truly viable form of literature.
I love Big Sur...well I did back when I had flowers in my hair
All of my comments will be honest, I assure you..this is my show of respect for a fellow poet.

[HummingMaster]

Great poem, and a good job rewriting this piece, it's amazing how you still have these feelings after all that time. But overall it's amazing

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Ghaith. Real lovers of the words need to write.

[HummingMaster]

That's true