What is right, what is wrong? Dear Jennifer.. Part six.

         What is wrong, what is wrong? Dear Jennifer... Part six...

"Making love...

Did we make love, did we seek the place of mercy?

Did I love you enough? Were we running to each other or running away from each other?

Do kisses demand payment? 

Were we brave? Or were just ghosts of lovers?"

The time went quickly and every night for 27 nights. I held Jennifer throughout the nights and I was thankful for the kindness she gave me. I never talks of love and she did not either. I believe I pleased her. I didn't want to steal everything from her. I was leaving on New Year Eve for California. I gave myself 10 days to get to Monterey. Detroit to Monterey, 2500 miles. I bought her and Tiffany nice gifts. A new Television for the house and Tiffany, anything she wanted.

The days and nights went too quickly. We made promises of her to visit me in Monterey. Our last night was wonderful. Jennifer parent watched Tiffany and we drank sweet wine. We held each other and we went dancing. On the 31 of December I left her house in my Dodge truck. It was a long good bye and I prayed I could see her gain. I saw joy and sadness in her eyes. Jennifer had a lived a hard life. It a life. Few times, do we know the mercy of kindness.

I arrived in California safely and I called dear Jennifer, twice a week. I bought her a plane ticket and she came to visit me in April 1992 in Monterey. She came alone and she was carrying a heavy burden. I showed her Big Sur, Monterey and San Francisco. We went to the pier nightly, we drank the Irish coffee. We took a old fashion photo. I was Doc Holiday and she was Texas love. After the four days of more silence than talking. She told me near the Monterey Bay. Johnnie, Johnnie. You have your California, your Army and you love the soldier life. I would be a burden. Maybe you and I. Are seeking different things. I have Tiffany and school. Love need reminders. I told her. Please come to Monterey. Be my love forever dear Jennifer. I will take care of you.

She whispered. Thank you Johnnie for being so damn kind to me and Tiffany. You changed my life. I am happy again and I know. I can do anything because of you. In 1987, you taught me I was smart and strong. Now I owe you again. You saved me from my pity. Please Johnnie, don't be sad. 

I drove her to the San Francisco airport. It was a silent drive and I held her hand. At the airport, she told me. Don't forget me Johnnie. Please don't be sad. You were my blessing and I hope you appreciate me? We kissed and I held her as long as I could. I watched her walk away and I knew. This would be the last time I could see my dear Jennifer.

I went to my car. Many tears fell for a dream lost forever. I wrote in my journal.

"I dreaded the ending at the beginning, I knew love is a like a butterfly. So beautiful to behold, so beautiful to see dance in the wind. You know. Sometimes love is your savior and sometimes love is your killer. A goodbye is still a goodbye. A wish is still a wish. A heartache is still a heartache. Thank you dear Jennifer for teaching me. I still can bleed."

Coyote

Author's Note

Thank you for reading.

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This was just so bittersweet and human; the need and desire to be loved, accepted and appreciated is common to us all. You present that so effortlessly in this piece woven from life. Wonderful work, my friend, F.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Fabian for reading and the comment. Love need perfect timing of two people needing the same things.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I think "relationships" need that. Love needs nothing. But it is entirely possible to love someone without physical contact or cohabitation. There are lots of folks I love that I wouldn't want to live with or even be around all the time. Just an observation. F.