untitle

I did 1 version of this but I have taken the review I was given and edited it (edited it again because I was really unhappy with the other version, it just didn't really fit together so I rewrote it)

I keep drowning every time I close my eyes

but ill burn alive if I never blink

and every breath I take is neither smoke nor water

but dirt as I bury myself deeper into the ground

I like to go on the swings in the park

because if I close my eyes tight

the breeze is calming and allows me to inhale only air

and if I open my eyes just at the right moment

I can fall, without the panic of where I might land.

Reviews

[Riddhi]

That seems a perfect one Cathbee...Good job..I am happy that you listened to my suggestions..I really liked this poem because its lines are very beautifully crafted and they have a deep meaning behind them..You are really a good writer...
Keep on writing and well done

[Nebula]

Sad and beautiful poem
The swing is your bubble