Those Tears

Little Stubborn Tears!

The tears I'm holding back...

The tears are right there on the edge.

The words are caught up,

tangled like all the emotions.

The tears keep getting closer but will not spill.

The tears are stuck. 

The mind has forgotten, but the tears remember.

They remember this and that....and more.

The tears will never let you forget.

Bits and pieces come and go,

relationships, abuse, and rape,

friendships that cracked faster than thin ice.

And then there was the feeling of being eternally alone

or the feeling of wanting more from life,

or the yearning for unconditional love,

or even the disappointment and resignation.

The tears will never let you forget. 

There they stand on the edge waiting to spill,

but they dare not fall.

They refuse to drop, so stubborn.

When they used to come so readily it became painful.

That's when they were a sign of weakness to me.

The mind certainly thinks so, believes so.

So the tears will not release,

even when things crumble

and there is no hope or future in sight.

They remain on the brink.

Not one drop dares to give in,

not to emotion,

not to love,

not to hate,

not to what it should.

They call it numbness.

Those stubborn tears are not numb.

They know their purpose, but they still refuse to come.

They keep holding back,

right there on the edge...

Reviews

[Relic]

This is so sad to read. The condition you refer to is called numbness. You've been through so much, too much, and your heart is gradually becoming harder. Letting those tears go is no weakness, it's being human. That's something you don't want to lose. Writing for some people is one outlet that is essential to get things out. Having them isolated inside can only make things worse. If it helps even a little, keep writing. I hope things get better for you.