Unhealthy

There are things I should tell you, things I need to say.
I miss you, though I dissed you, and drove you away.
A letter from my heart, because I can't think with my head.
It's probably the reason our relationship is dead.
To think that I would long for you every single day.
If I spoke this to you, can't imagine the words you'd say,
the emotions you would spray, feelings blunt and plain.
I must be an idiot for accepting all this pain.
You used to be a man I honestly would have wanted,
a man I could have married, a love I could have flaunted.
A man you were then but now you're just a babe.
A puke I need to swallow, unhealthy to crave.