Separately the Same

Restlessly, he is sitting home all alone
Pulling one petal off at a time
From a flower he has safely hidden away
In the farthest reaches of his mind

With each petal pulled, he says aloud to himself
She loves me, she loves me not
An old childhood game he sits and plays
He thought he had forgot

Miles away she sits restlessly, home all alone
Playing that same old childhood game
He loves me, she says, as she pulls a petal
Then softly whispers his name

He wonders if she ever thinks of him
When she is all alone
She loves me not, he says, pulling a petal
Deciding, he should not phone

He is all she ever thinks and dreams about
Those nights she spends alone
Pulling off petals from that flower in her mind
Always praying that he will phone

He loves me, she loves me not
Pulling petals, in the game
She loves me, He loves me not
Separately, the same

Author's Note

Time wasted by miscommunication.............

Reviews

[fargone]

this is very strong, neva. a perfectly painted picture of sadness and mutual futility. the writing is inevitably splendid, of course. on this occassion, i think that the link between them of the "childish game" is a very clever idea and it works really well. one of ur best for me, my friend :)

[Kevin Horsley]

Very good metaphor detailing a breakdown.
It is a truth as old as human civilisation, a very good write.

Thanks for sharing.

[unknown]

I have played this game and have seen others play it as well. I think we shouldn't play but lay it all on the table and take a few risks. We may rejoice at the answer or be hurt, but better to know than not. Sometimes suspense can ruin a moment. Enjoyed this :)

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A powerful prose and a slapped wording that recants that entire emotion that resides in all of us, well done

[Kelsie Eileen Stark]

Very bittersweet, but with a loveing tone.

[harley]

this was amazingly accurate.so many times people grown and still growing wait for another to make a move. yet when they dont we get angry. this poem is totally true espiecally for me.

[Sylo's Rose]

very good. they both wonder if they are thinking about each other and they are but the dont want to call.

[Aidz]

A lovely write Neva and from a different place

[KimLove "The Beautiful ..]

Beautifully written story of two people just too stubborn to reach out and say I Love You... I know it well!!! xoxoxo ; )

[Joel M Frye]

When fear and pride block the door, love usually finds the fire escape. Problem with that game is that the flower is three-fourths destroyed, and the final answer becomes clear. A perfectly described death spiral of a relationship, Neva...question being, which partner has the strength to pull it upright? Potent write.

[WatashLegend]

murderous silence does not care the victim as long as it obtains them, an unfortunate happenstance is written about here by failure of communication, you expressed well in this piece