Nightfall

A short, dark poem. About a depression I felt as a 16 year old.

Nightfall

Chaz Hemsworth

 

The night is coming, let it not be late

The night is coming, let it bring forth Fate.

The night is coming, it will not be late.

 

The sun is falling

The raven is calling

The moon will slowly rise

Night hates those who of Fate despise.

 

The night is coming, I hope it not be late

The night is coming, let it bring forth my fate.

The night is coming, I will not be late.

 

The shadows are spreading

As the world is turning

The hands around the rope are tying

The body in the noose is falling.

 

The night has come, it was not late

The night has come, it has brought me my fate.

The night has come, I was not late.

Reviews

[Cody]

Great descriptions throughout this poem.
I read your bio before starting the poem - am I right in assuming that the raven was slide in there as a metaphor for your love for Poe?

I don't like the repeating stanzas, so I'd fix that, if anything. The repetition is nice, but as a reader of the poem... it makes me skip over it the second and third time. At first it's like... "Ah, nice descriptions... I'm there!" but then it's redundant to me. (Redundant might be too harsh of a word, but know that I mean the best.) The repetition in this form somewhat sets up this poem to become a song.

Keep writing. I like this.

[s y e]

The repetition makes this effective , Chaz - a job well done.

[Poetic Beauty]

The veil of night can hide a great many things. It can hide the dark things in life. The descriptions in this poem remind me of a murder mystery or crime scene mystery.

[Katherine R.]

Really well written, Chaz! I like the repetition throughout the poem a lot! Repetition for the world!