but love

when I am nowhere
you dance in
the somewhere
for me
singing my heart
silent
hushing this wretched rushing
in my brain
ushering in this quiet
hiding place
rest now
rest now
put down your
heavy burden
show me the hands
reset the pace
such humble urging
restore my ache

I kiss soft
your patient grace
and question
who builds
who heals
who holds
but love

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Yes...just what I needed right about now. This one hit the mark fully and completely, dead in the center of the board for me.

I kiss soft
your patient grace
and question

I absolutely love these lines. There is such a soft, sublime warmth to this one. "Such humble urging" in your words. You have talent, my friend. I shall be back.

[ChemicalMadness]

Well, all you did was make my day. Thank you.

[Emily B]

you snuck this in on me while i was away, i love it, so soft, so sincere, so full of all my most favorite words

these are words i will come back to often

[emmajoy]

' .. .. singing my heart ~ silent .. .. ' And yes, that's how it is when words and deeds stop a woman in her tracks, gasp her breath, numb her top to toe then wrap her in a lover's thanks and heartfelt offering.

[ChemicalMadness]

Thank you so much for sharing this! You know I'm a big fan of yours, so I'm honored to have you swing by and look over some of my work.

[James Hanna-Magill]

Dear ChemicalMadness ('CM')

We have talked and I have looked.

I do straight.

In looking at your anthology, I was simply spoilt for choice.

Keep with me on this please and take it as it comes.

I looked at one poem, then I closed it and opened another and did so ad infinitum.

Then I had a simple call to make.

Which to pick to review first?

The answer an unsatisfactory cop out - 'top of your list'.

In the becoming of friends as we are, let me set out my own personal reviewing stall.

I may say this many times but it is important I say this to you.

I do all sorts of reviews from the most clinically structured where rhyme, iambs / metre, allegory and allusion, use of language, contrasts, light and shade figure large. But there will always be a simple spark of reaction from reader to writer.

Sometimes all I have to offer is that spark, depending on the writing or my mood at the time.

Apologies. I merely am who I am.

I always look at profiles and authors notes and quotes before I review but I never ever look at anyone else's reviews. I merely wish to give you my own tender offering.

You may have noticed I always do lengthy reviews.

Problem is this is already long and I haven't even started!

My reviews start where they start and end where they end.

They are raw reaction.

And so to your piece.

I've read your profile.

I've read your title 'but Love'

However no opening quote and no author's note.

Thereby you set the ground rules for any review.

And so to the job in hand!

Structure: One 18 line stanza followed by one of 7. Lines short, maximum 4 words. Any problem so far? No. Looks good to me. It's your style and freestyle. Why should anyone complain in the face of originality and personalised structure? I'm not. Think it's great.

To note in passing, as I flicked some of your other writing, I observed something similar.

And so what do I conclude? Here is someone with their own voice, their own manner who wishes to express themselves as they seek.

Now who could object to that?

Rhymes: Occasional. Am I bothered? No. Do poems have to rhyme? No.

Iambs / metre: Come and go. No obvious beat. Am I concerned? No.

Use of language: Not complex. But then the form isn't either. It is a neat fit. Bravo!

Allusions / metaphor: Widespread. In fact it is almost definable that way. But I would not seek to be so trite as to define you in any way. This is unique writing. Your own.

And now down to what does matter to me CM.

The writer behind the writing and the writing behind the writer.

Gut reaction OK?

This is music more than words which may have no literal meaning.

This is a painting which may have no literal meaning.

But should it have one, it is yours to own and ours to guess.

This is a gust of wind right in the face.

This is emotion and mood.

You do not punctuate.

But then neither did Proust (one of the greatest French novelists of the 19th century) in his 'A La Recherche du Temps Perdu', except in every fifteen pages or I think he did. I was never sure!

I read him as a child in French and in English. But when I read him in my tiny little bedroom in a very tiny little house in tiny little war torn Belfast it was with a 40 watt light bulb.

Midges used to fly round the room in summer.

So I was never quite sure whether it was a comma, full stop or I was looking at or a smudged midge!

Just one long sentence.

I often can write novels on pieces I review. But then I realise that even a novel wouldn't do it justice.

Apart from the mood of love, the two words which best identify this poem are your own: 'wretched rushing' The first word your state of mind as a writer and the second the sound of music or the 'brushing' stroke of a writer / a poet in the becoming.

Have I said too much?

Have I said too little?

Have I said anything at all that matters?

I don't know.

Only you can tell me, in much the same way as your poem has told me.

Conclusion(s) CM?

Several: Original, unique, poised, as meaningful in its majesty as meaningless, music, painting, writing - ART

My first read my friend, but not my last.

In admiration.


James Hanna-Magill

[ChemicalMadness]

My friend, I truly appreciate not only your words but the time you invested in studying my work and subsequently translating your reactions to the page for my benefit. I have been a member of this community for a few weeks now and in that short time, I have stumbled cross a broad cross section of quality and personality. I've been touched to learn that my words have (in a few dear souls) had impact. I've been "blocked" by precisely one writer who, I believe is likely a fine person, but was simply a bit misguided and took umbrage to my review of one of his "friends" pieces. And now I feel my induction to this place has been completed: I've been Hanna-Magill'ed. Forgive me for conjugating ;). Though I have difficulty divining your inherent emotional reaction to this piece, those sentiments are somewhat superfluous, as they are your own and you can and will share them as you see fit. I found absolute value in your academic deconstruction and, again, now feel like a true member of the community. Thank you for your time, your words, and your kind spirit. I look forward to many continued future interactions.
CM

[James Hanna-Magill]

Dear CM

Thank you for your kind words.

It can be difficult at times, the whole thing of writing, reviewing and being reviewed.

There is a not unreasonable analogy I see at times in this whole mix.

I think in writing, and allowing others to read and review, it feels sometimes to me like your child going to school on his / her first day.

We all worry that, having been with them for so long, and their going it alone for the first time, they may cry or be told off by the teacher.

In writing, our child leaves home for the first time and we all may feel vulnerable.

So be it.

That's life.

Do not fear reviewing or being reviewed.

If insulted by a review, never ever return the insult. It serves no purpose. Rather accept and move on. Take comments graciously and you may calm the reviewer or the reviewed.

Assume the moral high ground.

That you may have now coined the term being 'Hanna-Magilled' makes me smile and I find it touching.

Your poetry has originality and an undeniable flavour to it, which I find pleasing.

I am pleased you have joined this community.

I have found it to be a good writing site after searching for the right one and here I have chosen to pitch my tent.

There are many talented, right-minded people on this site. If you do not find them, they will find you.

May you have a happy time on here in all the sharing.

And may our friendship mature and endure

Your friend

James Hanna-Magill

[ChemicalMadness]

Thanks again, James!

[Matthew Kult]

Hello Chemical,

Congrats on the top writer badge,

Romantic and beautiful

Always,

Matthew
A.

[ChemicalMadness]

Much appreciated!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"restore my ache"

oh yes, love that line...this piece just resonates with me...i like the short, quick lines you use...it sets the rhythm and pace...as the heart wants to race along with the lines...and restore love.

[ChemicalMadness]

So glad you connected within this! Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i just reread this...and you know what?

i liked it even more than the first time...this is such a keeper...one to be read over and over again.

[Azriel]

such a beautiful piece, it paints such a great picture of love,
love these lines as well:
"when I am nowhere
you dance in
the somewhere
for me "

overall great piece...

[ChemicalMadness]

Appreciate the kind words...thank you.