Thank God For That

a long night for a mother and grandmother

The woman moved from window to window, looking out into the dark. First the dining room, then the kitchen. She took a moment to check the lock at the front door.

 Lightly she moved down the hall, stopping in the toddler’s bedroom.  Mozart for babies played, Moonlight sonata, oh so softly. It was accompanied by floating moons and stars, on a portable screen. Her home was perfectly in order, she has fussed through the house for the last hour and a half. A sweet lullaby serenaded grandma's little princess. All seemed right with the world.

The weary woman smiled at the sleeping beauty as a deep line settled on her forehead as she glanced out the window. Then she checked the child’s window, making sure it was locked. A timid hand closed the door, she thought back in time. Just two hours ago the girl’s daddy, their youngest son stormed down the drive. He was screaming at the top of his lungs. He would kill himself or make them do it, for him.  

 

Twenty-one years in law enforcement and who would thought, they would have to call, on one of their own. Her husband scurried in the dark looking for his boy, a man of twenty-five. Deputies, frantically looked for him. He was going to break in the house. The house of those, who loved him and try and force the woman, to end his life. The life he hated, but somehow could not take by his own hand.  

 

Rage consumed him, this ravenous hunger to kill or be killed drove him. Tears dangled by a thread, as the woman stared out the picture window. She dug her toes into the shag carpet and decided it best if she had her shoes on.  Every light in the house was out, she stood like a tower, with nothing to keep her company but her imagination. She saw the deputy’s flashlight bouncing across the hay meadow. The light was working its way toward the ranch house. With each klick, she tightened her prayer.

 

Would he make her choose, between his own life and the child that shares his last name? She would lay her life down for his, but not at the expense of her granddaughter that was dreaming so sweetly.  

 

Though, it was late into the winter, she had the small side window open. Waiting, listening, hoping and praying. That the words he had declared would not come to pass. Words of death, and destruction. Silently, she stood and waited. She wanted to call her husband. That was not an option, it could place everyone in peril. She listened to the music and traced her pearls. The flashlight could no longer be seen. She moved through the house looking, listening, at each window.

 

 Finally, the phone rang; "Honey, it's over they have him in custody." 

 

"Is he alright?" 

 

"He is, and the Baby?" 

 

"Slept through the whole thing." 

"Thank God, for that." He sighed.

Reviews

[emmajoy]

' Lightly she moved down the hall. Stopping in the toddler’s bedroom. Mozart for babies played, oh so softly. It was accompanied by floating moons and stars, on a portable screen. The house was perfectly in order. '

Fine, fine writing, a story - perhaps a mystery, with character, mainly because there had to be an ending but what could it possibly be. I had to pause, shut out my wonderings.. That done, your words took over, so well placed they are, the woman's love for her grandson, her love for her very own not so young boy, her dear son... but.. A sort of double jeopardy, perhaps

But without saying more in due to respect to you and future reviewers - your craft is more than fine and, so is the finish.

[Cherrie]

thank you Emma, that is a kind review. It means a lot to me coming from you.

[emmajoy]

My pleasure, meant every word. (Have corrected my careless typos, so sorry)

[Chris Shaw]

I was hoping that the outcome would be non violent as I progressed into the story line. We live in such violent times. Please let this end peacefully, and it did. Much suspense in this write dear Cherrie. Detailed and nicely composed.

Chris

[Shep]

it was a thrilling tale from top to the bottom as my eyes couldn't leave the page not wanting to miss a single line. nicely done.

[Cherrie]

Thank you, I wanted the tension to grow and still calming blend with the thought of soft music serenading a toddler.
Showing the darkest of nights.

[Lorry]

I think it is more a review of me and my thinking that I expected a grizzly end, but I guess we do live in a cynical world that isn't used to if not happy endings, then the better outcome.
This was really well written, nicely paced, letting it build slowly, bubbling away and as I said, a sigh of relief to end. I like it :)

[Cherrie]

Thank you, I wanted it to have a silent tension that built till the end.

[Cherrie]

I thought this might have a grizzly end as well.

[Lorry]

You succeeded :)

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn..]

If it always seems to happen that the preacher's son or daughter go through times in their young adulthood when they are anything but like their parents, then it stands to reason the same holds true for those who work, or have worked, in law enforcement ... We just like to think that because we have brought our children up a certain way, or in a particular lifestyle and setting, that they will never depart from it, much less rebel against it ... But they do and they does ... LOL! ... Your little story speaks very personally to mothers (and fathers) who have gone through hell with the children they love ... I have a son that is not allowed on the property ... Period ... Not until his lifestyle changes ... So, I can relate very easily with the situation this woman found herself in ... Well done ...

Marv

[MrARKY89]

You captured the emotions and anxiety of this woman quite well. Good job. (I know, it's a vague review, but is all I could come up with, for now.)

[Cherrie]

thank you, :)