Questionings

Deafening you, only ice floating down a porcelain river,

 moving like silence. 

The sun's scarlet fingers tuck in these phantoms dancing in my irises.

 Sounds evaporate into the sky, arteries and veins intertwine around me.

There's something about you that I can only describe as  incense,

 or dents and vents in the night. 

You are a clown's fainting smile.

What are you immortalizing, fantasizing 

brilliant knots, fancy bows inside you, 

if they come undone then you'll be away;  

far, far away rising from  pools of screeching pillow crimes.

 I just need to not care about anything else.

 I heard whispers 

like the holiness of a gas station,

out in the middle of nowhere.

For instance, the red white and blue I love yous.

Stalling the time inside , I love being outside,

taking everything in stride,

 but I'm going to start walking.

 The mirror told me the world's on fire, then I poked my eyes out.

Reviews

[Rene Salinas]

Dear Frontier let's get the frivolous out of the way becuase I really loved this writing. Line 14 is it
For instance, the red white and blue I love you's? , Done! & Dusted.
It is a wonder what happens when we convince silence to get a hold of our internal machinery. It is at times so much a wonder that when the result goes beyond the norm of expectation we sometimes ask or tell ourselves "how did that hapen" "How was I able to do that" and when you start with this airy , unsusbtatial declaration only the irony of confessing that you also cannot pinpoint what is it comes to meet me as if taunting me to understand. What are you (is it a question?) and here is where the pricipice of rationality comes to an end as the mirror tell me that you had enough of seeing and you rather stop right there.

What a journey!

Thankyou

[Frontier]

Your review was a journey of its own. It was a pleasure to read, you actually opened my eyes to what I wrote, because maybe some of these ideas weren't in the forefront of my mind when I wrote this, but reading your words I see they fit right in.
Thank you.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like the whispers part..."the holiness of a gas station/ out in the middle of nowhere"

and the walking...poking my eyes out.
the dreams are better...even if they are "pools of screeching pillow-crimes"

abstract piece...giving me the sense that the speaker doesn't want to be mesmerized by the lover...wants to be independent...on the outside of love...walking...

your work fascinates me and sometimes pulls me in several directions at once.

[Frontier]

I appreciate this engaging review, Jacob :)

and yes the gas station line is my favorite

[Nusquam Esse]

What I enjoy about your poetry is the strangely surreal nature of it; as a sucker for surrealism, I love things which feel like dreams... and your creative metaphors further enhance this. I liked this, and particularly adored the first half, since it was more in line with my tastes. My main advice for this is to go through and check your apostrophes, you are missing several, and may have put a few where they shouldn't go. If you need a refresher on them, I recommend looking up their uses, but it is generally for possessive (sun's scarlet) or conjunctions (world's on fire), but not for plurals (love yous).

[Frontier]

Thank you Nusquam. I will add in those apostrophes, I must admit I've been a bit lazy in that sense. I'm glad you enjoyed. I was going for strange imagery.