Dead Letter

Goodbye.

Dear John, I know you love home this time of year,
Waiting on you to tell it so, give it reason to thrive.
Stealing everything from the ground your young feet walked.
Cutting the grass I sat in and watched you get angry.

Dear John, I remember April every night in my heart.
As I fell in love with you for a countless amount of times,
Learning what the purest of bliss felt like when I saw you smile.
Wondering if you were conjuring bliss in your old heart.

Dear John, couldn’t you figure out that they were right?
You proved them right almost every night we shared.
Proving love, proving nothing, proving my heart in your hand.
Proving them wrong because it was never what you wanted.

Dear John, I can barely look at your gorgeous smile now.
Seeing it for only a moment, something so temporary.
Pushing away happiness because it will push me soon,
As I watch you pack your things, making everything real.

Dear John, don’t put our memories in that box.
Just look at that picture one more time, look at your face.
I never told you just how beautiful I find you, imperfect.
Just look at me one more time, look at my love.

Dear John, I know now that you are going to leave me.
I know you’re going to see me cry only a third time, over you.
I hope you are man enough to hold me this third time.
And I pray that Georgia knows how to hold you.

Dear John, I love you with all of my heart.

Author's Note

I decided to say goodbye in a letter...this, obviously, is not the letter, but it sparked the poem idea. Thanks.

Reviews

[Marshal Gebbie]

Hell of a way to say "Goodbye",c.m.

[Matthew Smith]

I see nothing to hate in this. It reads like the narrative of some sad, sad story. Of course, many of the saddest can be all too true. Who hasn't watched a loved one walk away--for one reason or another? If they have not, they will. This was...appropriately depressing and it struck quite a note with me.

And it seemed to me like an unhindered glance into some abyssal reservoir of emotion--not even a glance, but like that scene from Clockwork Orange where the fellow is strapped into a seat, with his eyelids forced open.

Yeah. Like that.

[Devons]

Well, my dear John -- you sound like a bit of an enigma. In fact, he sounds a bit like me.. Well, on behalf of John and I and others like us - I apologize.
The third stanza in particular sounds like that kind of irresolvable paradox that I've come across myself on many occasions -- but I really like the way these words put it across here. And I think this is the outstanding linchpin of the piece - both in meaning and in feeling.
There is a softness of touch (love, I should imagine), a sort of forlorn understanding, and a deep sincerity -- all catalysts that combine to make this poem into more than just a sound structure...

[Decaf]

I found this piece enjoyable

[Crowley]

Heavy, quivering, unadulterated sigh.....that one hurts and fills all at the same time. Its tough to say goddbye...but this does it in a gracious and wonderful way. Hope you show this one to him too....great writing.