I Hate That I Love You

I don't know how I feel about you, I just know it hurts.

I can't make up my mind. Do I hate you or do I love you? There's a million things I would have done differently, maybe you wouldn't have left. Some nights I swear I never want to speak to you again and others, I read over our messages wishing you were still with me.
I now know, I don't hate you. I hate what you did to me. I hate that you turned out to be exactly what you promised you wouldn't. I hate myself for loving you. I hate the fact that I wasted four years on you. I hate how easy it was for you to leave me. I hate how much it hurts, even after a year.
I hate the fact that I'll never learn how to get over you. I miss how we used to be. I miss the old you. I miss your laugh and the late night calls. I miss being able to call you mine. I hate that you are now hers. You've filled me with such anger and hurt, and I'm not sure how to overcome it. I wish I could forget. I wish I could forget us, and how happy you made me. I wish I coild forget you. If I could go back I never would have let you in. I have such writers block because I can't seem to get the right words out. There's so many things I left unsaid and even now they just won't come out. I do hope you're happy and I do wish you the best. I just wish it was me. It could have been us.

Author's Note

tell me what ya think!