I Promise

I Promise

A Story by Gionelly Kiss

A story inspired out of my "Daddy's Little Girl" relationship.


Her soft sticky dew drop lips trembled at my outburst. “I am sorry,” I exclaimed this time whispering. My words, however convincing I attempted to portray them, produced no consolation to my dear wife. My mind went through rack after rack of possibilities. I wondered what more she could expect from me. Then, I knew. This time, I promised, “I love you both, and I am going to do everything I can to get her back.” Only then did her eyes brilliantly shine outwards towards me. In response, she collapsed into my arms. Steadily, I rocked her to sleep while the fire burning inside me grew to an incessant smoldering thirsty for revenge.

The sun rose upon us while still in embrace. Her confidence in me was a miracle; how could I break such precious delicate opportunity only prowess could create? Yet, I left her. Slyly, I fled the scene of the crime into the woods behind our house; in hours my darling would be a desperate, weeping willow wilting without her love. I had to keep her alive and sane but I could not risk losing my baby�"our baby. I love you both, and I am going to do everything I can to get her back.

Slowly, the sun beat down upon me while I trekked further into the fiery pits of hell. The struggle to traverse the forests behind my home almost felt good to my aching wounds, cleansing my guilty soul. Trees lashed out of me as my own desperation assaulted my insides. My stomach seemed to cave in and then my throat became a dry ravine thirsty for something�"some hope. I knew where he was going but could I get there in time?

Finally, a clue flashed back at me from the dark greens and browns surrounding me. My baby’s favorite ribbon had mysteriously appeared among other greens and browns on the floor. I wasted no energy in securing this clue but followed the hunt by the quiet leads left by my girl. My training as Special Agent Mark prepared me well for discovering impossible connections no other’s perceived. Luckily, my girl was like her daddy. Her intelligence and abilities, that she was now using, would overpass my own and cement her future in a career similar to this�"if she survived this threat, which of course she would; I had to believe she would. I love you both, and I am going to do everything I can to get her back.

Where I lay, under branches and animals that after hours of vigilance had come to decide no threat came of my presence, no hound could have sniffed me out. In front of me, the moon highlighted an expansion of grass and clearly outlined my prey. He was in there, all right, only by the miniscule movements I finally perceived. I knew he liked the cover of darkness and would work under the moonlight; no light would guide me to his precise location. Years ago, I had learned his every tactic, every move and detail that defined who he was�"who It was. However, my arrogance, yet, lived to teach me a lesson about the powerful vengeance he now swore upon me; for it, my darling would suffer. But, I promise: I love you both, and I am going to do everything I can to get her back.

Like a prowling mountain lion, I crawled tentatively out of my hole of shame. With every inch of my body struck numb with adrenaline, I sprinted over the land before me until I was within feet of him and my girl. Anxious anticipation and anger floated out at me from the structure and the Animal who awaited me. Toxic fear, also, seeped out from the trap and tentatively turned to exuberance upon my daughter’s awareness of my presence. Delicately, I turned the knob, instantly feeling the flash of light upon my untrained eyes.

The fire balls exploding inside my eyelids did not deter me. Now, I lashed out; the Animal instinct demanding I fight back for my own. He cracked at me with bark like arms but I did not crumple under his blows. Instead, the fiery fury that had slowly built up in me while in hiding burst out with every swing I took at him. Her voice weak but clear guided me to the Animal and kept me up and swinging and whispering “I love you.”

Finally, my eyes dilated and I could see his mad face taunting me. But I could do nothing. The most precious parcel I had ever come to posses lay within his grasp. I whispered, “I love you,” to my daughter. He laughed and said, “Do you believe me now, Special Agent Mark? You promised your wife to bring her back; but I promise you won’t. Never make a promise you can’t keep. You never learn do you?” I yelled out in frustration eager to tear at him, but any movement incited the Animal to bruise and hurt my daughter. No gift appeased him more than torture and pain. “Please, I’ll give you anything you need�"I’ll clear your record, go bankrupt, whatever…just let her go. Please.” In response, my baby yelped from the crushing hand on her arm. “I love you.” What could I do now?

Suddenly, I smiled as did my darling in the hands of my prey�"the quiet shadows outside meant only salvation. Infuriated by our apparent bliss and unaware of what we perceived, the Animal roared at us, “WHY ARE YOU SMILING? I AM GOING TO WIPE THAT SMILE OF YOUR FACES. YOU…” The window shattered and at the same moment I pounced upon the wounded animal. Over 50 armed men and women�"my trusted colleagues�"filled the tiny room ready to murder the crushed Animal. My body trembled all over and in that instance I was filled with the anger and madness that had filled him, too. I grabbed the knife that lay next to my daughter’s feet and flashed it in front of his eyes. He growled menacingly at me but with unfeeling eyes stared deftly in the face of death. One of the men, my partner, stepped up to me and coaxingly whispered a truth I knew but chose to ignore, “Don’t do it, man. You’ll be just like him. He’s not worth it. That piece of trash, is not worth it.” I stared him down and then felt my daughter’s pleading gaze. Her intelligent eyes brought me back to sanity. My partner removed the knife from my hand as I stood up. Then, he, the Animal dared laugh at me. My fist launched into his face at 100 miles an hour successfully wiping that smile off his face.

Led outside by two of my trusted colleagues, I breathed in the healing night air and almost collapsed, but I had something important to do before that. I knelt down and received my precious with open arms. Finally united, we cried into each other’s arms. Her soft, wispy hair twirled around us and tied us together as I gently rocked her back and forth. I whispered into her sweet little ear a promise that I would keep, “I love you. I will never let anyone take you again. I promise.” She nodded and her sparkling deep charcoal eyes promised her love and trust in me.

© 2010 Gionelly Kiss

Author's Note

Gionelly Kiss
I appreciate any and all comments (because I really can't write stories at all)! Please, help me do better...

My Review

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I thought it was good. Defiantly intense.
I noticed a few punctuation errors. For example, the line, "I had to keep her alive and sane but I could not risk losing my baby"our baby." in the seconded paragraph and a few other places I noticed that you used a quotation mark instead of a space. Was there a reason behind that? It was a little confusing.

Also in the next to last paragraph the line, "Over 50 armed men and women"my trusted colleagues"filled the tiny room ready to murder the crushed Animal." didn’t flow right to me.
Unless you want to specifically mention gender, you could reword it to say something like:
"Over 50 armed members of my trusted colleagues filled the tiny room ready to murder the crushed Animal."

All-in-all I thought It was good. Keep working at it.

Posted 9 Years Ago

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Added on April 14, 2010
Last Updated on April 14, 2010


Gionelly Kiss
Gionelly Kiss

Columbus, GA

¡Hola! Soy una Boriqua que le ENCANTA escribir poemas tanto en Español, mi lengua natal, como Ingles. ¡Por favor, disfruten! Hello! I am a puertorriqueña (of Puerto Rico) .. more..