Rabbit hole

She stood,

on the edge of the precipice

A silhouette against a blood red sky

The wind a whisper in her hair

The sun, a watchful eye

She considered her fate

with a whitened fist

and asked the question "Why?"

The heather didn't answer her

but twittered to themselves

the wind teased her once again-

dancing light as elves

Far below, the rhythm

of the waves against the sand

beat like the heart of the ocean

like a cruel and angry hand

She looked beyond the ocean

to the lights across a sea

The city dripped with 

the souls of thousands

each as blind as she

who dreamed of disillusioned lives

a million miles away

never knowing what to do or ever what to say

She delved into the darkness

wanderer of the night

Guided on her way by stars

chasing her thoughts out of sight.

But her skirt wrapped around her legs

and stilled her on her path-

So she stood and waited for first light

and mornings vengeful wrath

She stood upon the brink,

the sea a taunting wave

Her madness hidden within-

a deep and darkened cave.

She waited for the tide

to rise and kiss her toes.

The wind spoke one more time;

"Were all mad here, you know"

Reviews

[Jennifer Patino]

The longing & loneliness of this piece stood out to me the most. Nice rhyme & flow as well. You built up very nicely to that ending. Good work.

[MarkAndTheOcean]

Lovely little poem, very sad and at times true, we all get lost at times in our dreams, desires or deceptions in our own worlds. But since we all do there is some comfort in knowing we are not alone in a funny way.
I take it from the title and the closing line of the poem this had some 'Alice in Wonderland' inspiration? :)
Keep it up!

[Anne’sRants]

Haha. Yep. One of my favourites

[Rhayne]

Awesome and I was almost there once. I picture a tortured soul standing on a high cliff contemplating ending the storm she has inside that rages out of control. The waves pound the surf so hard it thunders, urging her to make her move. She takes a step closer to the edge when a gust of wind blows and she becomes conscious of her clothes being pressed against her----the feeling virtual, a conscious act, bringing her from the depths of her mind. She takes notice of the bustling city not far away, realizing that all the people there are just like her, wanting something better somewhere else. It makes her dwell upon her own problems and fears that have lived inside her so deep. That one slight gust of wind that stopped her fatal step made her conscious of what she was about to do. She takes one more look down and even though the thought is still fresh, she changes her mind. Suddenly, she finds herself on the beach, standing in wet sand. The wind gusts her again and thanks her for listening by making her realize she's not alone.

[Anne’sRants]

I love that you understand so thoroughly what im trying to communicate. All anyone wants is for someone to listen.

[Relic]

This reminds me of one of the jumpers from the san francisco bay bridge. He mentioned that just as his feet left he regretted jumping. I'll bet everyone who jumped regretted it. Many are tortured by events in their live they can't change and many are too frustrated to live because of sickness, chronic pain, or have been subscribed meds for depression.

The part where she looks out to the city is so true. There are so many who want to end it all. Ans so many don't understand the madness that takes over the mind.

Great poem. I hope this interpretation wasn't all wrong. It's really about cows or something right? :)

[Anne’sRants]

Haha. you bet. definitely about cows.
You hit pretty close to the mark, so I appreciate that. I've been told i'm too vague

[Relic]

Detail is important and something I know I need to work on myself. I look back at things I wrote and I'm puzzled as to what I was thinking. Letting a poem rest a little while and then looking at it helps. Or so says Stephen King.

[Anne’sRants]

That's great advice. Thanks Relic

[Relic]

My pleasure. :)